Heat
by brunseab
Summary: As Renesmee draws closer to maturity, she struggles to define herself. A story of Jake and Nessie.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello everyone! This is the first chapter of my take on Jacob and Renesmee's story. Let me know what you think, both good and bad. Thanks!  
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Chapter 1

I put down the book I was reading and sighed. I loved _Pride and Prejudice_, but reading it made me a little depressed. I didn't have any real friends, let alone someone to fall in love with. Aside from my parents and their vampire family and friends, Jacob and his pack, Sam's pack, and Charlie, I never saw anyone. My parents were always telling me how special I was, but I didn't always see it that way. While my parents could pass in and out of regular society with relative ease, I had to stay secluded. Anyone who met me would notice that I had grown to be years older in a span of just a few months. Charlie was the only human who I got to see regularly. He had no idea about the true nature of my family and friends.

He didn't know the full story of how my parents fell in love. He couldn't know, for his own safety that both my parents were vampires. When my parents met, my mom was human. She fell in love with my dad, and he fell in love with her and told her his secret. He knew that they couldn't be together, so he resisted the relationship. He even left my mom for a year so that she could have "a normal life." My mom always laughs during this part of the story. Apparently, being normal didn't work out for her very well. While my dad was gone, she became best friends with Jake, who turned out to be a werewolf. It's kind of cool, actually, because Jake is now my best friend. My only best friend, really. But anyway, my mom went and found my dad in Italy, saved him from the Volturi, and came with him back to Forks, where they realized they loved each other more than life. While still human, my mom married my dad and became pregnant with me. Not something I prefer to think about because only one thing leads to pregnancy, and just…yuck. Grosses me out. Apparently I almost killed my mom while in the womb. As soon as I was born, my dad turned her into a vampire to save her life.

Ergo, here I am, walking around a vampire hybrid amidst vampires and werewolves. According to Carlisle, I'll grow for about five to six years before I reach maturity. At that time, I stop growing and simply…exist forever, I guess. It has been about five years since I was born. Carlisle says that, if I were a human, I would be around seventeen years old.

If I were a human, I would be going to high school and preparing for college. I would have a best friend or two, and I would maybe have a boyfriend. I would be taught by regular teachers in regular classrooms. Instead, I spend five hours a day with one of my relatives teaching me one of various subjects, just so I can "be prepared for anything," as my dad likes to say. He teaches me music, mainly the piano. My mom spends our five hours a week talking about great writers and great works of literature. I generally enjoy my mom's classes, but she feels the need to teach me a greater vocabulary and all of these grammar rules that are ridiculously tedious. She knows I dislike these lessons, so we only do them twice a month. Esme teaches me art, Emmett teaches me math, and Jasper teaches me history. Apparently Jasper is a huge history buff. Alice and Rosalie can pitch in anywhere, but usually they leave the teaching to the others. Carlisle acts as my science teacher. He teaches me biology and chemistry, as well as some other sciences. Carlisle's lessons are always interesting to me. He teaches me all about both human science and vampire science. And, since I don't fit perfectly into either of those categories, we spend a lot of time talking about me, about my life and my body. For a normal person, it would probably be really awkward to discuss this type of stuff with their grandfather. I'm used to it. Carlisle has been keeping track of my medical history since before I was born. Part of our lesson once a week is to measure me to track my development. He also insists that I tell him immediately if I notice any big changes.

Most of the time, although I develop faster than a human, the changes are gradual. Today, however, my body did something that shocked everyone, especially me. I think we all like to forget that I am part human, that blood runs in my veins. It really shouldn't have shocked anyone when I got my period, but it did. Scared me to death. I knew all about human sexual development from Carlisle. We spent one awkward day learning about it. He insisted my parents both be there, so we could all have "the talk" together. I thought the whole thing was entirely embarrassing and unnecessary. For one, I'm not human and therefore, cannot reproduce anyway, and two, I don't foresee me having sex. Ever. It turns out that it takes two to tango. Who knew, right? And the only guys I'm around are either related to me, the wolf pack, or Jacob. I tried to explain this all, very awkwardly, to my parents and Carlisle. They all looked very uncomfortable when I brought this up. My dad looked like he wanted to say something, but my mom whispered something in his ear too low for me to hear. I was incredibly frustrated at this point, but thankfully, Carlisle decided that he'd taught me everything I needed to know about _that _subject for the time being and to come see him if I had any questions. You can bet that I left his office as fast as I possibly could.

For a couple of weeks, I tried to forget about "the talk." I tried not to get too hung up on the whole "forever a virgin" thing. I kind of accepted it as another fact of life, similar to being thirsty whenever I saw Charlie. I thought about it once and a while, but never when my dad was around. I normally don't care about my dad being able to read minds, it's just another thing to add to the list of weird things about my life. Aside from being the daughter of vampires and the best friend of a werewolf, my dad can read minds, my mom has a mental shield, my aunt Alice can see the future, and my uncle Jasper can control emotions. A whole bunch of our vampire friends and family have special abilities. It all seemed pretty normal to me. I usually didn't care about my dad reading my thoughts, but I did not want him to know that I was thinking about sex. That would be the most awkward thing ever. I was glad that my dad was off with Emmett and Jasper when I discovered that I was getting my period for the first time. It really freaked me out, but I figured out what was happening pretty fast. I didn't know what to do about it though. I was sitting on the floor of the bathroom of the big house trying to figure out how I was going to bleed for a week in a house full of vampires when my mom knocked urgently on the door.

"Nessie, are you okay?" She didn't even give me time to respond before she asked, "are you hurt? I thought I could smell…"

I opened the door, and she ran in with a panicked look in her eyes. I was surprised to find myself crying. "Mom," I sniffed, "I think…well I don't…I'm…" I had no idea how to tell my vampire mother that I was getting my period for the first time. I took a deep breath. "I think I'm getting my period."

My mom's eyes got big and her mouth popped open for a split second, but she recovered pretty quickly from the shock. She wrapped her arms around me and gave me a hug. "Oh sweetie, it's okay." She paused for a second, still hugging me. "My little Nessie is growing up so fast." I sniffed again, the tears receding.

I wiped my eyes and leaned against the counter in the bathroom. "I don't know what to do." That was the understatement of the century. Up to about three minutes ago, the thought of having my first period never crossed my mind because I considered it an impossibility.

"I'll send Alice out to get some…er, supplies. And we should tell Carlisle. Do you want to tell your father or do you want me to?" She must have seen the look on my face because she quickly answered her own question. "I'll tell him as soon as he's back. I think we should let the rest of the family know as well. They are going to know anyway, it's probably best to warn them up front." She sighed, smiled, and kissed me on the head. "I'll go get Carlisle."

I sank to the floor again with my head in my hands. This was beyond embarrassing. Only in a family of vampires would getting your period be this big of a production. I sighed. It was going to be a long week. I picked myself up and looked in the mirror. I splashed some water on my face and went to sit in my room. It couldn't have been more than two or three minutes since I told my mom the…news when I heard Alice flitting up the stairs. She knocked on my door and bounded into my room before I had a chance to say anything, her eyes shining with excitement.

"Oh this is so exciting! I wasn't sure what you wanted, so I got four different brands of "feminine needs" products. I hadn't even walked down that aisle since your mom was human. They have so many different kinds!" I flopped down on the bed, slightly mortified and highly irritated. "What's wrong?" She asked. "Why aren't you excited?"

I sighed again. "Because it's awkward and embarrassing and everyone is going to know and-"

"Don't be silly," she interrupted. "This is a wonderful, coming-of-age moment in your life." I rolled my eyes. "Well, I'll leave you alone," she said as she put two bags from the store on my dresser, "but your mom and Carlisle said to meet them in his office when you're ready."

I sighed again. This was going to be a day full of long, irritated sighs. I grabbed the first package I could get my hands on and trudged to the bathroom to take care of things.

I hesitated in front of the door to Carlisle's office, waiting to be invited in. Before I could even take a deep breath to reassure myself, he called "come on in, Nessie." I walked in and shut the large door behind me. My mom was at my side in an instant. She grabbed my hand, squeezed it once, and led me to one of the two large chairs placed in front of Carlisle's desk.

"Your mother tells me that you started menstruating today. First off, let me offer my congratulations. You have become such a beautiful young woman in such a short time. This is just one step of many towards you reaching maturity." He smiled warmly. I usually didn't get frustrated with Carlisle, but everyone's excitement over this was really starting to annoy me. My mom smiled at me sympathetically. I had forgotten that she knew better than anyone else here how I felt. She had only been a vampire for a few years. She probably remembered what it was like to go through this as a human. Carlisle continued, ignoring my discomfort. "I really should have expected this. I apologize about for making incorrect assumptions about your reproductive properties." I blushed again, and he continued. "Obviously, this is all new to me, so I can't give you much of an idea of what to expect. My guess right now is that you will go through a normal reproductive cycle, only accelerated and therefore, shorter. Your periods will be shorter than a normal human, but they will also probably be closer together."

"Umm, yeah, okay." I sighed again. "Do you think I will have them for the rest of my life?"

"I really can't answer that. My guess is that they will stop once you are fully mature, but again, there is so much we don't know. I am trying to contact Nahuel to see if I can talk to one of his sisters. If we are able to contact them, we could gain much more insight. Until then, we just have to wait and see. During this first cycle, I am going to ask that you meet with me once a day, so we can get an idea of how long a normal cycle is for you. Other than that, life should be pretty normal."

"Carlisle," my mom asked, "if she is going through a normal reproductive cycle, can she…" She trailed off, looking perplexed.

"I imagine, should she want to, she could have children. Eventually," he added, seeing the look on my face. Well wonderful. Great. I can have a child if I wanted to. La di dah. Like that was ever going to happen.

"Your dad's home," my mom said as she got up to leave. "I'm going to go tell him the news. Are you sure you don't want to come?"

I cringed and shook my head, and she left, closing the door softly behind her. "Is it alright if I go too Carlisle?"

He nodded, and smiled gently. "Go ahead. I'll plan on meeting with you tomorrow at 8:30, before I go to the hospital." I nodded and left quickly. I went back to my room, not wanting to go downstairs and face everyone just yet. I went into my room and looked at the alarm clock. Three o'clock. I had an hour until Jake got here. He was going to the community college in Hoquiam during the day. His classes had started a few weeks ago, and I was incredibly bored without him. During the summer, I spent almost all day every day with him. It was hard to fill an entire day without Jake to do stuff with. I sat down in the chair and looked around the room. It used to be my dad's room before he and my mom got married. Now, we all live in a cottage a little ways away from the big house. I generally sleep in the cottage, but I also have a room here. It has a huge wrought-iron bed in it that I hardly ever use. This is more a place for me to hang out in during the day if I need some space. I put on my favorite music and settled in to read some more _Pride and Prejudice _until Jake got here.

A knock interrupted me, and I closed my book. "Come in."

My dad opened the door and came in. He looked concerned as he said "how are you? Are you okay?"

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. I was having my period. I wasn't dying, for Pete's sake. "I'm fine. I little overwhelmed, I guess…" I trailed off and shrugged, trying to sound blasé and not let on that I was freaking out a little.

My dad smiled and walked over to kiss the top of my head. "I love you. Always."

I smiled. "I know. Love you too." I looked at the clock and got to my feet. "Jake's going to be here soon. I am going to go downstairs to wait for him." I paused, seeing a look of irritation cross my dad's face. "What?" I asked him.

"Nothing. What are you and Jacob going to do tonight?" He asked as he followed me out of my room. "Are you going hunting or eating in?"

I pursed my lips, thinking. "I'm not sure. I'll see what Jake wants to do." I could survive on human food or blood, although I usually preferred blood. I usually ate regular food with Jake, but sometimes we hunted together. He would hunt in his wolf form, and it usually got pretty competitive between us.

"Well, your mother and I are going hunting tonight, if you want to tag along."

"Umm, I'll get back to you," I said as I reached the bottom of the stairs. I gaped at the huge bouquet of roses on the table in the living room. Alice. I should've known that she would go overboard. I'm surprised she didn't throw a huge "congrats on your first period" party.

My dad laughed as he read my thoughts. "She wanted to, but we reined her in." Sheesh. _Thanks_, I thought to myself, knowing my dad would hear. _I don't want to make a big deal out of this. It's awkward and embarrassing and…_I let my thoughts trail off. My dad wrapped one arm around me and gave me a reassuring squeeze.

I walked over to the roses and picked up the card. "Congratulations. We love you," it said. It was signed by everyone; Alice and Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett, Carlisle and Esme, and my mom and dad. I smiled a little and looked up to see everyone had walked into the living room and was beaming at me. My mom and dad were the first ones to hug me; then they went and stood in front of the front windows, my dad's arms wrapped around my mom's waist. He whispered something in her ear, and she reached up to touch his face. I loved that my parents were so in love. I sighed again. I wish I could have a love like that. My thoughts were interrupted by Alice and Jasper. Then Rosalie gave me a hug, and Emmett picked me up and twirled me around to make me laugh. Esme and Carlisle were last, and as I was hugging them, Jake walked in.

"Hey. What's the occasion?" he asked as he walked in.

"Jake!" I ran over to him, and he gave me a hug. "It's nothing. How were your classes today?" I asked.

He still looked suspicious but answered "boring, as usual. How was your day?"

"Fine. Nothing exciting," I said, lying through my teeth.

His eyes narrowed, and he shot my dad a look. "No really, tell me. What's going on?"

"It's nothing. I'll tell you later." Everyone else went back to minding their own business, and I breathed a sigh of relief. My parents walked over to Jake and I.

"Hey Jake," my mom said as she gave him a hug.

"Hey Bells. Hey Edward." Jake and my dad shared a look that I didn't even pretend to understand. Jake turned to me and said "so what are we going to do today?"

"That depends. Did you want to eat supper in a civilized or uncivilized manner?" I asked with a grin.

Jake laughed. "I'm up for catching supper on the hoof. Can we go now? I'm starved"

Now it was my turn to laugh. "You're always starved. Sure, we can go now. Let me go upstairs and change into something a little more durable first. I'll meet you outside." I dashed up the stairs, shooting my parents a warning look first that I hope said "don't tell him anything."


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey everyone! Sorry for the break in between Chapter 1 and Chapter 2. I hope you like this chapter! As always, please review! Oh, and obviously, Stephenie Meyer owns all of this. Happy New Year!**

I came downstairs once I was changed and stopped in front of my parents to tell them goodbye. "Have fun," my mom said as she hugged me. "Be back by nine."

My dad hugged me. As he pulled away he asked, "Are you going to tell Jacob about today?"

I hissed through my teeth. "No! He's a guy! That's so gross Dad! Why on earth would I tell Jake?"

My mom put a hand on my shoulder to calm me down. "He's your best friend, Renesmee. He loves you as much as we do." My dad stiffened, but my mom ignored him. "He's always interested in every aspect of your life. It's completely up to you, of course." She looked at me expectantly.

"Don't count on it." I shuddered even thinking about the conversation. Gross. "I'll be back later. Love you," I called as I walked out the front door.

"Love you too," my parents called after me.

I leapt off the front porch and landed next to Jake. He was waiting patiently in his wolf form. I hoped that he was far enough away from the house to not hear the conversation I had with my parents. Pretty soon my worries faded from my mind as we ran blindly through the forest. I loved this, just running. I couldn't run as fast as my parents, or as fast as Jake for that matter, but I could still run faster than a human. Jake matched his pace with mine, and I could tell that he was enjoying this as much as I was.

We became focused when we came across a herd of deer. Jake took down the biggest one, and I took down the next biggest before they could scatter. When the deer was dry, I looked over at Jake and watched him finish up. Watching him eat as a wolf always kind of grossed me out. It really wasn't logical; I drank the deer dry for crying out loud. Watching Jake tear flesh from bone made my stomach turn a little. He didn't seem bothered by it though, so I tried to put it out of my mind.

When Jake was finished we sat down by the stream the deer had been drinking from. I ran my fingers through his coat as he cleaned off his muzzle. I pressed my hand to him to let him know how content I was in this moment. If only…I jerked my hand away before the thought could go any further. Hopefully he hadn't seen too much. He jerked his head around to look at me. I avoided his gaze, absentmindedly running my fingers through the grass next to me.

He got up with a huff and trotted off. Great. Now he was going to phase back, and we would have to talk about this. Ugh. I did not want to have this conversation with my best guy friend. I picked up a stick on the ground and threw it a good hundred yards in pure frustration.

"I refuse to play fetch with you. It's too degrading," Jake said with a laugh as he walked over in his human form. I snuck a look at him. He was just wearing his shorts. Seeing Jacob shirtless was a sight any girl would appreciate. I think even his muscles had muscles. He was my best friend though, and I certainly didn't think of him in _that _way at all. He sat down next to me and grabbed my hand. I turned my attention back to the grass. "Are you going to tell me what's going on with you today?"

I sighed and leaned away from him, averting his gaze. "It's nothing. Don't worry about it. It's none of your business." He stiffened and dropped my hand. A hurt look flashed across his face for a split second. Crap. Now I hurt his feelings. He got up to leave, and I grabbed his hand, pulling him back down. "Look, I'm sorry. I'll tell you. It's just awkward and embarrassing and not something you probably even want to know about." He looked at me expectantly, waiting for me to finish before he said anything. I took a deep breath and blushed. "Igotmyperiodtoday," I said in a rush. There I said it. I waited for him to throw up or something. From what I've read, guys don't usually deal with this female stuff very well.

A look of surprise flashed across his face, and then it transformed into his wide, easy grin. "Aww, that's great Ness! Congratulations!" He gave me a one-armed hug. He was taking this much better than I anticipated. Why was everyone so excited about this? Sheesh. "So how are you doing? Are you feeling okay and everything?"

"I'm fine. It's just a p…" I stuttered over the word. "I'm not sick or anything." I sighed again. "Can we just move on and talk about something else? I _really _don't want to talk about this."

He gave my hand a squeeze. "Sure, sure. No problem."

_Thanks, _I sent him. He squeezed my hand again, and I leaned against his shoulder.

"So what did you learn about today?" he asked, changing the subject.

"Ugh. Emmett has decided that it is imperative for me to learn calculus. We spent the whole morning learning about optimization. And I understand the process and everything, but the problems he gives me are so hard! And then I get frustrated, and he tries to make a joke to make me feel better, and then I get more frustrated. Rose finally came in and suggested that we quit early, thank goodness."

Jake laughed. "Doesn't sound like very much fun. You should ask your mom for help. She used to help me with my homework all the time when she was in high school. We used to have study parties together…" He trailed off and we sat in silence for a moment or two. Jake was rubbing his thumb on my hand absentmindedly. It felt nice. It was so easy just to _be_…with Jake. Just to exist. I could sit here for hours with him. No talking, just sitting, just being together. It was easy, restful.

Eventually the time came to head back to the house. Jake got up first and then pulled me to my feet. He looked at me for a second when we were standing face to face. It made me uncomfortable. It wasn't a creepy look or anything; it made me feel like he was trying to look through my eyes and into my soul. He looked away quickly and went into the trees to phase. I had never seen Jake phase. Apparently, if he wants to keep his clothes intact, he has to take off all of his clothes before he explodes into a giant wolf. Not that I wouldn't mind seeing him that way, if the rest of him was as ripped as his upper body.

Oh my gosh. I should not be thinking about Jake naked. How embarrassing was that? He was my best friend, not my boyfriend. Gross. Ick. I shook my head , trying to erase the mental image.

I heard two sets of footsteps approaching from the other direction and turned around to see who it was. My mom and dad were walking hand in hand towards me. "We were just about to head back," I explained. "Jake's phasing now." All of the sudden a giant red-brown wolf appeared next to me. "Correction, here's Jake." I laughed.

"If you're done, we can all go back together," my mom said. We took off at a run; the three of them keeping pace with me. My parents leaped over the river holding hands; I followed. Jake, still in his wolf form, swam across the river to where we waited for him. He hauled himself out of the river soaking wet. My dad suddenly pulled my mom farther away as Jake shook the water from his coat.

"Really Jake? Was that entirely necessary?" I glared at him, looking down at my clothes. They were covered with spots of water. He laughed his barking laugh and tried to shake himself off again. "Ugh!" I yelled, flinching away from him. "Go phase already!" He ran off into the trees with a grin.

Jake walked back over to us with a big grin on his face. "Jake!" I yelled at him when he got to us. "Look at my clothes! It's a good thing I changed before we went hunting, or Alice would have killed you by now."

"Oh, I think I could take her." I laughed and shoved him the arm good naturedly. He shoved me back and we both laughed as I stumbled into my parents. Apparently he shoved me a little harder than intended. My mom caught me before I could make a fool of myself by falling over, and my dad rolled his eyes.

"You are just like your mother."

"Hey now," my mom said with a grin. "I thought we agreed never to discuss my debilitating lack of coordination ever again." My dad laughed, kissed her cheek, and grabbed her hand to walk to the house. Jake and I followed my parents to the front porch but declined to follow my parents inside.

Instead we sat on the front steps and looked up at the stars, which were actually visible for once.

"So where has the rest of the pack been? I haven't seen them all day," I asked as I looked for different constellations I knew.

"Seth is had class today. He said he'll stop by this weekend." Good. Seth, aside from Jake, was my favorite in the wolf pack. He has been studying for his Bachelor's degree in biology at the University of Washington- Port Angeles. He was still living at home though, commuting about an hour both ways to attend classes on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday each week.

"Quil had to babysit Clair today. She was home sick from school, so he offered to take care of her so her mom could go to work. I think Embry was hanging out at home today." Jake frowned, and I could guess why. Even though Jake and Seth thought of my family's house as their second home, Quil, Embry, and Leah we still uncomfortable here without another member of the pack around, even after all this time.

"Leah started her new job this week in La Push, so she's been pretty busy. She's working for the tribal council as a sort of secretary/researcher. I think her main task is to write an anthology of our stories. They want her to preserve our histories on paper. She's also working on preserving tribal artifacts and stuff."

"Has she phased lately?" I asked.

"Not for a while now." He laughed quietly.

"What?" I asked, curious as what he was so amused about.

"It's nothing. I was just thinking how she is trying to phase out of phasing."

"When she stops phasing all together, does that mean she's not part of your pack anymore?" I asked.

"No, she'll always be my beta. Even when she stops going wolf, I'll still ask her for advice. She'll still have that authority." I nodded, pretending like I understood all of the intricacies of the pack.

"Do you think you'll ever stop? Phasing, I mean," I asked, not knowing if I really wanted to know the answer. If Jake stopped phasing, that would mean he would be moving on with his life, aging again. He would die eventually if he stopped phasing, just like any normal human. The thought of Jake dying was terrifying to me. I felt my throat constrict as I tried to blink back tears.

Jake contemplated my question in silence for a moment or two. I was very close to having hysterics at the thought of him saying yes when he suddenly looked me right in the eye. "No," he said softly. I sighed in relief and laid my head on his shoulder. I felt him smile as he put his arm around me, hugging me to his side. Suddenly, a rush of guilt washed over me. It wasn't right, me wanting Jake to stay with me forever. He deserved a normal life, even if that meant he would die someday. He deserved to meet someone and get married, have children. It was completely unrealistic and selfish for me to expect him to be my best friend for eternity.

I sat up and looked him in the eye. I took a deep breath. "Can I ask why?" A look of blank surprise hung on Jake's face. A look of- something, hurt? Disbelief, maybe?- flashed across his face before he answered me.

He looked like he was struggling mentally as he closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and asked "what?"

I tried to sound unconcerned as I responded. "You know, why don't you want to stop phasing? Have a normal life?" He still looked completely confused, so I tried to clarify the point for him. "I mean, once you get married and have kids, won't you want to age with them? Don't you want to grow old with your wife? I mean, unless you marry Leah, your wife is going to age whether you want her to or not."

Jake stared at me, speechless, for a full two seconds before he opened his mouth to speak. And even then, he seemed incapable of forming a coherent sentence. I suddenly had a moment of realization. "Oh my gosh. It's Leah! You're in love with Leah! No wonder you don't ever want to stop phasing. But wait. Doesn't she want to stop phasing? Does she know—"

My rant suddenly cut off when Jake pinched my lips together between his fingers. "Stop talking," he ordered as I struggled to break free of his grasp. "Stop, Renesmee." I froze. He never called me by my full name. "I am not in love with Leah." He shuddered a little. "At all. And I don't ever want to stop phasing and age again. I want to stay with you. Forever."


	3. Chapter 3

I froze. I couldn't speak, couldn't even breathe as a thousand thoughts raced through my head. Jake just said he wanted to be with me forever. Does this mean he's in love with me? He didn't actually say that. So is he not in love with me? Why do I feel disappointed about this? Am I in love with Jake? Is it possible to love someone not in your same species? Wait-species? That just makes us sound like a bunch of animals in a zoo. My train of thought derailed when Jake grabbed my hand. My mind wheeled as I tried to answer all of the questions whirling around in my head.

"Nessie, let me explain." He looked like he was warring with himself again. Good. Let him struggle a little after all the mental turmoil he has put me through in the last ten seconds. "You are my best friend in the entire world. More than your mom. More than Seth, more than Quil and Embry, way more than Leah. I can't even fathom leaving you. You are going to live forever, so I will too."

I felt like a deflated balloon. So, let me get this straight. Jake wasn't in love with me? Why did I feel like someone had knocked the wind out of me? I pondered this as I responded with "but Jake…"

"No buts. Look, if I were to ever fall in love, which right now the options are pretty slim. I mean, girls aren't exactly beating down my door." He grinned, and I rolled my eyes. "Anyway, if I were ever to fall in love, I guess I could stop phasing and age again. But she would have to be pretty amazing to get me to leave you, so don't hold your breath." He grinned again and smiled a knowing smile. Sometimes I didn't get Jake's humor. He always acted like he knew something I didn't. Ugh. Whatever

"Well, great. I'm glad we can be best friends forever. We should get one of those necklaces that splits in two. You can have one half and I can have the other!" I shoved him good naturedly.

He laughed and shoved me back, being careful not to push me off the steps. "Yeah right. Don't hold your breath on that one." I laughed again, glad that we were back to our old selves. Of course I wasn't in love with Jake. We were best friends and always would be.

"So my birthday is coming up in a couple of weeks. My actual birthday, not one that Alice makes up every couple of months to throw me a party. I'll be five whole years old!" My actual birthdays were a big joke to me and Jake. Last year, he gave me a child's "You're Four!" card with some kittens on it.

"What do you want to do for your fifth birthday party?" he asked with a grin.

"Alice won't tell me anything, but I'm pretty sure she is throwing a joint birthday party for my mom and me." My birthday was on September 11; my mom's birthday was on the 13th. "She keeps pretending like she isn't planning anything, but she's not fooling anyone. You're invited, of course."

Jake laughed. "Don't worry. I already received my invitation." As soon as the words were out of his mouth, the door flew open, and my very angry aunt came storming out.

"You stupid mutt! You swore you would keep the party a secret! It was supposed to be a _surprise_! Consider yourself uninvited!" Alice screeched at him.

"Alice," my dad said as he followed her out of the house, my mom at his side, "you weren't fooling anyone. Bella and Nessie both knew you wouldn't be able to pass up throwing a party."

"They didn't know anything! I saw Bella being completely shocked as they walked down the stairs, and Nessie would've been surprised too. And besides, I've been very careful not to think about it in front of you. We all know you can't keep a secret from either of them!" She glared at my dad as he grinned and kissed my mom's hair.

"Alice," my mom cajoled, "you know that Nessie and I don't need a birthday party. Every day as a member of this family is a gift." Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper, Jake, and I all rolled our eyes. Carlisle and Esme just smiled at my mom, and my dad looked at her with even more adoration.

"No! As punishment for ruining my surprise, I am throwing you two a huge birthday party."

"But Alice, we didn't ruin your surprise. Jake did!" I begged. Jake glared at me, and I giggled.

"Doesn't matter. You two are coming to this party, and you are going to like it! End of story!" she yelled as she spun and waltzed back inside. The rest of the family followed her, except for my parents.

"Jake, Nessie, it's getting late. I think it's about time for you both to get some rest," said my mom.

"Yes Mom," Jake said sarcastically as he rolled his eyes. He lurched to his feet and held out a hand to help me up. "See you tomorrow night?"

"Yeah. See you then. Good night."

"Sleep tight."

"Don't let the vampires bite," I added, just for good measure. Jake snorted, and my dad rolled his eyes. Jake gave me a hug and then drove off in his Rabbit.

"I can't believe that thing still runs," my mom said as we walked back towards our cottage. "It seems like just yesterday that he picked me up to go to the movies with him and Mike Newton."

My dad rolled his eyes at the mention of Mike Newton. "Are he and Jessica going to get married anytime soon?" He asked.

My mom laughed. "I haven't heard. I'll ask in my next email to Angela. I'm glad we'll be able to go to her and Ben's wedding in the spring."

"Me too," my dad said as we reached the cottage. We stepped inside, and I said goodnight to my parents.

"Don't forget. You have a meeting with Carlisle tomorrow morning at 8:30." I cringed. I had forgotten. "And we have our lesson tomorrow," my mom reminded me.

I smiled. "How could I forget that? See you in the morning. Love you," I added, giving both my parents a kiss on the cheek.

"Love you too," they said in unison. I walked to my bedroom and shut the door. I went into my bathroom to brush my teeth and get ready for bed. I sighed. Looked like Alice stocked my bathroom with every type of pad and tampon the store had to offer. I put on my pajamas and crawled into bed. It had been a long day, and I fell asleep, exhausted.

Morning came too quickly. I had tossed and turned all night thinking about everything that had happened that day. Mostly I kept coming back to Jake and me, trying to make sense of our relationship. I knew that I felt relieved that he wanted to be best friends forever. However, I also knew that I was disappointed that he wasn't in love with me. Did that mean I was in love with him? Or was I just that self-absorbed that I felt like I deserved to have Jake love me? I didn't think I was in love with Jake. I mean, yeah, I was aware of him physically, but what girl wouldn't be? Even if I wasn't in love with Jake, I had to admit that he was hot. Like, really hot. But I still loved him like a brother, so I tried not to dwell on his hotness. Anyway, I kept going around in circles in my head all night long. When my mom finally woke me up in the morning, it seemed like I had just finally fallen asleep.

She and my dad were already dressed when I emerged from my room freshly showered and hungry. I always ate my meals at the main house. Our cottage didn't even have a kitchen; we only kept a little bit of food here in case I got hungry for a snack. All three of us ran to the main house and walked inside. Esme met us at the door and gave us each a motherly (or in my case grandmotherly) hug. As she kissed me on the cheek, she asked "what would you like for breakfast today dear?"

"Umm thanks, Esme. But I think I'm just going to make myself a bowl of cereal this morning." I saw her face fall. Even though I was the only one in our family who ate human food, Esme loved to cook. She was always delighted to cook for the wolves when they came over. "But don't worry," I added, "I'll eat lunch here today, and I'll ask Jake to invite the wolves over for supper." Esme beamed and ran off to tell Alice of the impromptu party. I poured myself a bowl of cereal with milk and sat at the counter to eat. I realized that my cereal had gone soggy when my mom's voice jerked me out of my daydreams.

"Carlisle is ready for you in his office," she said kindly. I sighed inwardly and poured the rest of my breakfast down the garbage disposal. "It's going to be fine," she added, seeing the dread on my face. "I'll meet you down here afterward for our lessons today."

"Okay," I said. "See you in a few."

I hesitated outside the door to Carlisle's office, waiting to be invited in. I didn't have to wait long. He called me inside and asked me to sit in one of the huge leather chairs facing his desk. Even though Carlisle was my grandfather, inside his office he was Dr. Carlisle Cullen. I still called him by his first name, but aside from that, everything became more formal the second I walked in the door.

"Good morning, Renesmee. I trust you slept well?" he asked.

"Yes, thank you," I lied. He didn't need to know that I was up all night thinking about Jake. There were some things I preferred to keep to myself, regardless of Carlisle being my grandfather/doctor.

"I thought I would first ask you a few questions regarding your menstrual cycle." He seemed to be looking for a response, so I nodded, and he continued. "Has your flow changed at all since yesterday morning?" he asked. I blushed. This was beyond awkward. I really had no desire to talk about my _flow _with anyone.

"Umm…well…it was…heavier…yesterday than it is today. It seems a lot lighter today I guess."

"Excellent. Have you experienced any cramps? Any breast tenderness?" Now I was really blushing. Even if Carlisle was a doctor, talking to him about any _breast tenderness _was unbearably awkward.

"Not that I have noticed," I answered truthfully. I honestly didn't feel very different at all.

"Good," he said as he made a few more notes in my chart. "Can you think of anything else to tell me?"

_God no_, I wanted to answer, but I felt that might be a little rude, so I just answered with a simple "no."

"Alright. Let me know if you experience any changes." I waited to be dismissed, drumming my fingers on the wide arm of the chair. "Also," he continued, "I'll let you and your parents know as soon as I hear anything from Nahuel. If he can make contact with his sisters, we'll have more of an idea what to expect." He closed my chart and smiled warmly. "I think that's everything. You are free to go."

That didn't take as long as I expected. "Thanks Carlisle. I'll see you later." I left and closed the heavy oak door behind me. I walked down the stairs, through the living room, and sat down in the dining room next to my mom.

Over the next hour and a half, we discussed a long list of pointless things, from the subjunctive text in English compared to other languages to the definitions of the Latin roots found in this week's vocabulary list. I found these vocabulary lists completely irrelevant. I formed an extensive vocabulary soon after I was born; only once in a while did I come across a word I did not know. However, these lists created by my mother required me to find where the word had originated, how it was originally used, how its meaning had changed, etc etc. I was getting more and more frustrated with this whole "let's make Nessie waste time every day learning things she already knows" thing.

"What?" my mom's voice interrupted my thoughts.

"_What _what?" I asked. Why did she sound so annoyed? I was playing along without complaining. She was lucky she was my mom; I probably would have left by now if it was anybody else teaching me.

"Don't use that tone with me, young lady. You've been sighing and moping all morning." I looked at her, really annoyed now. I never even said anything, for crying out loud. I opened my mouth to inform her of this, but she didn't give me a chance to say anything. "I know these lessons aren't your favorite, but this information is necessary…"

"No!" I kind of surprised myself. My mom and I never argued like this. "It's not necessary for anything. I will never need to use this stuff. It's completely pointless!"

"Renesmee, there is no need to raise your voice. Someday you might need these skills in the real world," she said. I could tell she was struggling to control her voice.

"No!" I shouted, really mad now. "Don't you get it? I'll never be a part of the real world! I'll never go to school, get married, have kids, or any of that! How am I going to explain to some human guy that I have super speed or that I prefer to drink blood over human food?" My voice got louder, all of my frustrations with this life I was forced to live coming out now. "Even if I wanted to, do you think that you and Dad would just let me leave, find my own way? Admit it, you wouldn't. Normal teenagers get to go to college; spread their wings and whatnot. Not me. I have to stay here, alone." I could feel tears started to form.

"Renesmee," my mom interjected, visibly upset. "You are never alone here. Everyone loves you."

"You still just don't get it. I don't fit in here either. No one gets what I am going through; I can't talk to anyone who understands!" I pushed back my chair and fled, seeing everyone's surprised faces as I bolted through the living room with tears running down my face.

"No love, let her go. She'll come back when she's ready," I heard my dad say. I tried to block out the image of my mom's face when I abruptly left the table. She looked like her heart was breaking.

I leaped across the river and through the woods, sobbing. I couldn't even see for all the tears streaming down my face. I tripped over something and fell to the ground. I didn't even both to pick myself up off the ground again; I just curled up in a ball against a tree and cried.

I cried tears of loneliness, tears of heartbreak, and tears of regret for treating my mother like I did. I cried because I hated this life I was born into, and then I cried because I didn't actually hate it. I cried for all of those reasons and more, and eventually I just cried without reason.

After I while, I reached a place of peace where there were no more tears. I wiped my face with my hands and took a deep breath, than another. I needed to go apologize to my mom. I stood up to go back to the main house. I looked down at my clothes. I should probably clean up a little first; otherwise Alice would throw a fit.

I walked to the cottage and let myself in. I changed out of my clothes that were covered in dirt from the forest floor and washed my face. I was running a brush through my curls when my mom walked in.

"May I?" she asked. I smiled and handed her the brush. Ever since I was little, one of my favorite things to do is to sit with my mom while she brushed my hair. It was almost down to my waist and full of auburn curls. We sat in silence for a few minutes while she brushed the tangles out, gentle but effective. "It's been awhile since we've done this," she said quietly.

I nodded. "I'm sorry. About earlier," I added.

She nodded. "Me too. Although, I'm glad you finally told me how you felt. You should never be afraid to tell me anything."

"I should have handled it better. I'm really sorry for getting so upset. It's just so hard to be me sometimes, you know? I don't fit in with you because I'm not a vampire. I don't fit in with Jake and the pack because I don't turn into a giant wolf. And I don't have any human friends because I'm not human. And I know it's for my own safety that I'm so secluded, but I feel so…trapped, I guess."

"I don't think you realize how much we all feel that way, at times. We all struggle with not being able to be a part of regular society, Rosalie especially. She hated being a vampire for a long time. Her dream was always to get married and have children, to grow old with her husband. She struggles a lot with what might have been. It's very hard for her to be around your father, you, and me some days." I looked at her in surprise. Rosalie doted upon me with every fiber of her being. "You see, she looks at us and sees everything she ever wanted but can't have. That's why she loves you so much. You are like the daughter she never had. That's why you are so special to all of them. Your father and I were happy to share."

I never realized how alienated my family must feel sometimes. I never thought about how my mom struggles with not being able to see her mom or her old friends. I never thought about how awful it must be to see your family grow old without you, to die while you live forever. In that moment, I was incredibly grateful to be exactly who I was. My parents, my family, would never leave me. From what I heard from Jake yesterday, he didn't plan to leave either. I was incredibly lucky.

"You might try talking to Jake about this too," my mom said, interrupting my thoughts. "He knows all about being thrust into a situation he has no control over. He didn't choose to be a wolf any more than you chose to be a vampire-human hybrid. He used to struggle with it a lot."

"Used to?" I asked, curious.

She smiled at me and kissed the top of my head. "That's a story for him to tell you himself someday. Should we go back to the main house? I think Esme was looking forward to making lunch for you."

"Yeah," I said. "I love you," I said as I gave my mom a hug.

"Love you too."


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello everyone. This chapter was really easy to write. Plus I was snowed in all weekend, so it got uploaded in record time for me, lol. Please review and let me know what you think. Thanks!**

My mom and I walked into the main house together. When we walked in, everyone looked at me with apprehension in their eyes. My mom squeezed my hand and went to go stand next to my dad.

"See?" he said. "I told you it would work out." He kissed my mom's temple and wrapped his arms around her waist.

I took a deep breath. "Everyone," I said, "I'm sorry for the way I acted. I was being selfish and immature. Will you forgive me?"

"There's nothing to forgive, dear," Esme said kindly. "We all get frustrated at times." She smiled with genuine compassion, and I smiled back at her.

"Hell," said Emmett, "you should have seen your dad before he met our mom. He was the most angsty kid I had ever seen. I could get him to fight over the littlest things; shortest temper in the world. If he wasn't fighting, he was banging around on his piano. 'Course that's all changed now that he has something else to ba—"

"EMMETT!" my mom and dad yelled at him. Emmett just grinned. My mom looked like she wanted to kill him. She probably would have if my dad's arms weren't locked around her waist.

I rolled my eyes. "Esme, could we go make lunch together? I'm starving."

"Of course dear." I followed her into the kitchen where we made lunch together.

"Esme, do you think we could postpone dinner with the pack until this weekend? I think I just want a relaxing night with my parents," I said as we washed the dishes together.

"Of course. Why don't you let me tell Alice though? She might be a bit disappointed."

I smiled as I put the last dish away. "Thanks," I said as I gave her a kiss on the cheek. She gave me a one-armed hug before I left. "Thanks for lunch too," I said as I walked to the living room.

My mom looked up from the book she was reading as I walked in. "Are you sure you don't want to have dinner with the pack tonight?" she asked.

"Yeah. I was thinking that we could maybe go hunting together and just hang out afterwards, maybe watch a movie together or something."

"I think that sounds like a wonderful idea," my dad said from my mom's side. "Will Jacob be coming with us?"

"I think I'll hang out with him this afternoon, but then go hunting with just you too." I looked at the piano in the corner of the room. It had been awhile since I played just for the fun of it. I walked over, sat down, and began to play. I started with my mom's lullaby and went through most of the other songs in my repertoire. After a while I took out my composition book and tried to pluck out a melody on the keys. I started soft and sweet but then built the melody into something faster and more energetic. Every once and a while I would have to erase the notes on the page and rewrite them. The song then morphed into something heavier, lower, but still upbeat. Eventually the melodies blended together and finished the peace on a simple, sweet note. I sat back, satisfied with my creation.

My family burst into applause. "That was beautiful, sweetheart," said my mom. I had completely forgotten they were in the room.

"Amazing," my dad added. "How long have you been working on it?"

"Umm, just today. It kind of just flowed." I blushed, embarrassed at all the attention.

"Wow Edward!" barked Emmett. "Looks like she could give you a run for your money on that thing." My dad just beamed at me, and I blushed even harder.

"Why are you blushing? You were freakin' awesome!" a new voice added.

"Jake!" I shut the piano cover and skipped over to him. "How was your day?" I asked.

"Long. Boring, as usual. What about you?"

"Kind of crazy actually, but better now." I looked over at my mom sheepishly, but she just smiled. "Do you want to go for a walk or something?"

"Sure. Why not?"

"Mom, Dad; I'll be back later."

"No hurry," my dad answered.

Jake and I walked towards the river. I wished we were holding hands, but instead I just shoved my hands in the pockets of my jacket.

"You look so much like your mom when you do that," he said.

"Really? Why?" I asked. Usually people said I looked more like my dad.

"I don't know really. Whenever I remember the two of us walking together on the beach, I always picture her like that. I think it was because she hated the cold here. Kind of ironic now when you think about it." He smiled and shook his head. "So why was today so crazy?"

"Well," I said with a sigh, "I basically threw a tantrum and stormed out of my lesson with my mom this morning."

"Why?" he asked, surprised. "You and your mom never fight."

"It started as me just being frustrated with learning more pointless stuff, but then I basically let loose all of the frustrations I've been feeling lately."

He grabbed my elbow and pulled me down beside him to sit on the riverbank. "What frustrations?"

"I've just been feeling really lonely lately. Like an outsider. Some days I feel like no one understands what I am going through. And I've been feeling really trapped. I mean, I never go anywhere. I never have a chance to live a normal life."

He stared out over the water. "I understand what you're going through," he said quietly.

"My mom said that you would; I just never realized it, I guess. She said something about how you really struggled when you first became a wolf?"

"Yeah, I hated being thrust into something I had no control over. My life was really great before I exploded, literally, into a wolf one night. Your mom and I were best friends, and to tell you the truth, I had a huge crush on her."

"You had a crush on my mom?" I asked with incredulity.

"Yeah, I had a crush on her starting right when she moved here from Phoenix. Of course, she only had eyes for you dad, but when he left, I saw my chance to make her fall madly in love with me. It didn't work, obviously." He rolled his eyes. "But anyway, when I changed, I couldn't tell her. It's against tribal law."

"So when did she find out? After she became a vampire?"

"No," he laughed. "She guessed. Way back when she first moved here, she asked me why the tribe doesn't –er, didn't- like your family, and I told her our tribe's histories. When I changed and stopped talking to her and stuff, she guessed. With a little help from your's truly." He smiled at the memory.

"So is that when being a wolf got better for you?" I asked. "And wait, do you still love her like that?" I asked, a little grossed out at the thought of Jake being in love with my mom.

"No, to both of them. After she knew, it got a little better but still sucked. And your mom and I are best friends, but I don't love her like that at all. Anymore," he added a little sheepishly. "Do you think your dad would let me hang around if I did?"

"No, probably not," I conceded. "So when did you stop hating being a wolf? And when did you stop loving my mom?"

"Umm…well…." He bit his lip, looking frustrated. "Probably about the time that you were born, I guess." His words came out in a rush now. "I mean, eventually you realize there's no point in pining over something you can't have and that being a wolf is actually sort of awesome." He took a deep breath. "So yeah. Probably about then. I don't remember the exact time and place or anything," he said, biting his lip and looking away.

He looked so cute when he blushed, not that I thought of him that way. Okay, who was I kidding? I was getting a major crush on Jake. That's all it was though. Just a crush, I thought to myself.

He interrupted my thoughts when he said, "You know you can talk to me about any of this stuff, right? I'm always here if you need me."

"Yeah, I know. I'm glad we had this talk, Jake," I said as I leaned against him.

"Me too, Ness. So are we eating at your house tonight?" he asked.

"Oh yeah, I forgot. I was actually kind of hoping to just hang out with my parents tonight, just the three of us." He looked kind of disappointed, so I added, "it's just, I was kind of a brat to them today, and I thought this could maybe make it up to them."

"No, yeah, that makes sense," he said with a smile. "Billy will probably get a kick of having me home for supper."

"Great," I said, glad that it all worked out. "But hey, Esme and Alice were hoping that the pack and everyone would come over for dinner this weekend. Like, maybe Saturday? Could you ask them?"

"Yeah, that's no problem. They would like that. For not eating, your family sure can cook."

"I know right? Crazy. But speaking of dinner, we should probably head back." I stood up and tried to brush the dirt and bracken off my butt. "Did I get all of it?" I asked Jake, turning around.

"Umm…yeah," he stuttered. I smiled to myself. Sometimes I think I make that kid nervous. It was a good feeling.

"Great." I grabbed his hand this time, feeling it encase mine with warmth. "Let's go."

After Jake left in his Rabbit, my parents I went hunting. "This is nice," I said to my mom as we waited for my dad to finish up with his mountain lion.

"It is, isn't it? You've been spending so much time with Jake lately. I thought maybe you've forgotten about your old mom and dad," she said with a smile.

"Never," I said, shaking my head. Just then my dad walked up to us. He gave me a kiss on the cheek and kissed my mom on the lips. Had she been able to, I'm sure she would have blushed. "Well don't mind me," I said, rolling my eyes. "I'll just head back and leave you too alone."

"No, no," my dad said as he released my mom. She looked a little dizzy. "I believe we had plans for a movie. Don't worry; we'll behave."

I peered up at him speculatively. "Promise?" I asked him. I was pretty used to my parents' PDA, but I would really like to be able to enjoy our movie without feeling like I should give them some privacy.

My dad laughed at my thoughts. "Promise," he said as he grabbed my mom's hand.

We ran back to our cottage and began to argue about what movie to watch. It was impossible trying to win any argument with my parents. No matter what, my dad _always _agreed with my mom, so I lost by default almost every time. It was beyond irritating

Tonight though, I was trying to get back on their good side, so I let my mom pick the movie. She picked a romance, as usual. Above all else, my mom was a hopeless romantic.

I curled up in my favorite chair and settled in to watch the movie, my parents sharing the couch. I struggled to keep my eyes open, but eventually, I drifted off to sleep.

_ "She's growing up so fast," _my mom whispered. I was in that place in between being awake and asleep.

_"She is, isn't she? And just as beautiful as her mother," _my dad answered.

_"When do you think he'll tell her?" _He who? Who were they talking about? Even in my subconscious, I was irritated at them for keeping things from me.

_"I don't know. He's beginning to see her for the beautiful young woman she is, but he doesn't want to pressure her. For now, he's satisfied to be her best friend."_

_ "Mmm," _my mom said wordlessly. _"Some days I wish Alice could see them. I think our lives would be much easier if I had some idea of what to expect, and when to expect it."_

_ "Perhaps, but I think they'd still surprise us," _my dad whispered with a hushed laugh. _"She's already in love with him, you know. I don't think she realizes it herself yet, but I can read her thoughts. The tenor of her thoughts has begun to change."_

"Who's thoughts?" I asked as I stretched, fully awake now. "Is the movie over?"

My mom got up from where she was sitting on my dad's lap. "Yes, sweetheart, but I think you missed most of it," she said with a soft laugh.

"That's okay," I said with a yawn. "I've seen it before anyway," I added as I stumbled to my room.

"Goodnight. We love you," my dad said, smiling.

"Love you too," I said, shutting the door. I got ready for bed half-asleep and fell into bed, exhausted.

I woke up the next morning earlier than usual. Apparently, throwing temper tantrums takes a lot out of me. Dually noted.

I wracked my brain, trying to remember what my parents had been talking about last night during the movie. I felt like they were talking about me, but I couldn't remember what they said. Oh well, I shrugged it off. Must not have been that important.

I lay in my bed, waiting for my parents to knock on the door for me to get up. Bad things happen when I go wandering out of my room in the morning unannounced. I shuddered at the thought. I never showered last night though, so I got up and walked to my bathroom to prepare myself for the day.

I stood in front of the mirror in my towel as I blow dried my hair. Satisfied, I brushed my teeth and swiped on a little mascara. I thought back to the argument Alice and Rosalie had about me wearing makeup...

"You gave her makeup?" Alice glared at Rosalie while I stood next to her, grinning sheepishly.

"You know what I always say. If you've got it, flaunt it," Rosalie said with a flip of her blond locks.

"But she has such a beautiful natural color palette! She doesn't need any makeup. Bella, please tell your daughter that she can't wear makeup!" Alice begged, looking to my mom for support.

My mom shrugged. "I think it looks fine."

"Ugh! You're impossible! All of you! Especially you!" she said, pointing her finger at Rosalie as she stormed out of the room...

I honestly didn't wear makeup that often. It seemed kind of pointless. Some days, though, I put just enough on for Rosalie to notice and nod appreciatively and for Alice to purse her lips but not get too upset. I thought it looked fine. Made my brown eyes pop against my ivory skin.

I walked out of the bathroom and into my closet. I rummaged through the racks of clothes until I found what I was looking for. I pulled out a dark green v-neck with long sleeves and put on some basic jeans. Alice probably wouldn't approve, but I didn't care. Just as I was looking myself over one last time, I heard my mom knock on the door. "Renesmee, are you about ready?"

"Yeah," I said, opening the door.

"That color looks beautiful on you," my dad said as we walked outside.

"Thanks. Alice probably would have gone for something more extravagant, but…" I trailed off and shrugged.

"But you take after your mother," my mom finished for me. "Don't worry; I've long since gotten over being a constant disappointment to her." We laughed together. Neither of us really cared one way or the other for fashion, but my mom was worse than I was. Growing up around Alice and Rosalie, some of their appreciation for fashion was bound to rub off on me; I just didn't always show it in ways that they liked.

When I walked into the main house, Alice glared at me from her spot next to Jasper. "Couldn't you at least accessorize or something?" she begged.

"Sometimes, less is more. I believe that is one of your cardinal fashion rules that you have hanging in my closet. Along with "pick colors that suit you" and "don't be afraid to take risks." This green looks amazing against the red in my hair, and I knew I was taking a risk when I chose to wear this in front of you." So there, I added mentally.

She just rolled her eyes. "Unbelievable," she muttered. I just smiled and walked towards the kitchen.

"Ah, I hoped you would be here soon. I'm making omelets," called Esme.

"They smell amazing. Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Oh no. You just sit back and relax. They'll be ready in just a few seconds." I sat down at the counter and listened to Esme hum to herself as she cooked. "You know, I never made these when I was human. I only started making them after your parents got married." She paused. "After she became pregnant with you, about the only human food she could eat was eggs. Your dad taught me how to make omelets, so he didn't have to leave her side."

"I didn't know that."

"And then with all of the wolves around," she continued, "I began cooking more and more. I'd forgotten how much I loved to cook for others. After almost a century of not cooking, it took some practice to get back into the swing of things." She smiled. "From what I hear from Jacob, and from you, I seem to have managed fairly well," she said as she slipped an omelet onto my plate.

"You don't give yourself enough credit. These are amazing," I said as I dug in.

"You should ask your dad to cook for you more. One of his guilty pleasures is watching the Food Network. But don't tell him I told you that."

"Too late!" he called from the living room. She smiled fondly in his general direction.

I finished my omelet and went to put my plate in the sink. "Do you want me to stay and do dishes?" I asked.

"Oh heavens no," she said fondly. "You go run along and talk to Carlisle. Tell him hi for me."

"Will do. Thanks Esme," I said, giving her a kiss on the cheek.

"Good morning Renesmee," said Carlisle as a means of inviting me in.

"Good morning. Esme says hi," I said, sitting in one of the big leather chairs.

He smiled and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his large mahogany desk. "So how are things today?"

"Umm, great I guess. My flow is really light today; I'm pretty sure I'll be done by tonight. And I still don't feel any different." By now, I knew what questions he was going to ask.

"Good, good. Come and see me tomorrow morning again, but other than that you are free to go."

"Have you heard anything from Nahuel?" I asked as I got up to leave.

"No, I haven't." He looked concerned. "I'll let you know right away if I hear anything."

"Okay, thanks," I said, giving him a kiss on the cheek as I left.

Instead of going back downstairs, I met Esme in her studio for my art lesson. "I'd thought we'd do something a little different today," she said looking up from her desk. "It's not supposed to rain all day. Why don't we have our lesson outside?" She handed me a sketchbook as I nodded and followed her out of the house.

"So what is my assignment for today?" I asked. Last week we were working on landscapes, and it was kind of boring to me.

"No assignment," she said, smiling as I looked at her with surprise on my face. "I think, personally, that your life has been a little too structured lately." She looked at me to see if I agreed. I nodded, and she continued. "So today, I want you to simply express yourself. You can draw, you can paint, you can sculpt. You can simply sit back and look at the clouds for all I care. Whatever you create, I want it to be an expression of you; of who you are."

We settled ourselves on the ground beneath one of the huge maples in the backyard. The ground was a bit damp, but it didn't bother me. I hummed to myself as I sketched. Several hours later, I leaned back against the tree and stretched my hand out. "I think I'm done," I said to Esme. "This one's for you and Carlisle." I handed her the portrait I had drawn of them both. "I tried to capture the love and compassion you both have for others."

She put her hand over her heart. "Thank you Renesmee. We'll treasure it forever."

"I drew one for everyone. My mom and dad, Rose and Emmet, Alice and Jasper, Jake…" I trailed off. I didn't add that I included myself in Jake's portrait. "The truth is, you, my family, you all make me who I am."

She gave me a hug. "I'm glad you feel that way," she said, the love evident in her eyes.

**Again, please review! Thanks so much!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hello everyone! Here is chapter five; I cut it off sooner than I planned because it was going to be ridiculously long if I kept going. The rest of chapter 5 will become chapter 6 and will be posted soon. Anyway, I hope you like this chapter. Please, I'm begging you, PLEASE REVIEW! Thanks!**

The next couple of days were pretty uneventful. My period ended, but Carlisle still couldn't get in touch with Nahuel. I think he was worried about it, but nobody said anything to me. I still had lessons everyday though. I think everyone was trying to make me happy, so the lessons were shorter and more relevant. Thursday night I heard my parents talking as I walked down the stairs of the main house.

"We need to start giving her more freedom," my mom said, "or else she's going to start taking it on herself." My dad didn't say anything, but my mom continued. "The last thing we need is a rebellious teenager who also happens to be a vampire-human hybrid."

My dad chuckled. "You're right love, as always. I'm just not sure how to go about it…" he trailed off.

"I know," she answered. "Maybe her birthday…" I never got to find out exactly _what _freedoms I was going to get on my birthday because my dad realized I was in hearing distance.

Alice and Esme invited both packs over for dinner on Saturday night. Jake came over early to help get ready, and he joined my dad, my mom, Esme, and I in the kitchen.

"Here," I said, handing him a potato peeler. "Peel these." He looked at it like it was a foreign object. "You've never peeled potatoes before?" I asked him incredulously.

"Hey, don't judge. I'm more of an instantaneous food type of person. I don't have much time for food that requires extensive preparation. Like peeling," he added as he picked up a potato.

My mom laughed. "Peeling does not count as extensive preparation."

Jake just rolled his eyes. "So what are we having, I mean, besides potatoes?" he asked.

"Prime rib," my dad called over his shoulder from the stove. "Emmett's firing up the grill now. It's been marinating since Thursday."

"We're also having salad, homemade bread, green beans, corn, and cheesecake for desert. Oh, and mashed potatoes," said Esme, gesturing towards the half-peeled potato in Jake's hand.

"So what are you doing?" Jake asked as I sat down next to him at the counter.

"You mean, besides supervising?" I laughed as he rolled his eyes. "I have to help you peel potatoes. Apparently, all of you eat like a pack of wolves."

He smirked at my lame joke and bit his lip as he struggled to peel the potato in one long strip. God, he looked so cute like that. I tried to concentrate on the potato I was peeling, but it was hard when he looked so adorable.

"Renesmee, can you take these steaks out to Emmett?" asked my dad.

"Sure, no problem," I said as I grabbed the platter and walked out the door.

…

It was a good thing we had a huge house because it was packed for dinner. Sam and Emily were there, along with Paul and Rachel, Jared and Kim, Colin and Brady. Quil was here, but he didn't bring Claire along this time. Embry was there with his girlfriend Beth. She seemed scared to death; none of us had met her before. Poor girl. I couldn't imagine walking into a house full of this many people for the first time, not to mention a house full of vampires and werewolves. I was shocked that Embry brought someone new, but apparently she was fully informed about who- or rather what- we were. Seth and Leah were there too. With all of my family roaming around being gracious hosts, it was a little claustrophobic.

We ended up setting up tables in the backyard because there was no way we were all going to fit in the dining room. I was sitting at a table with my parents, Alice and Jasper, and Jake when Sam stood up and clinked on his water glass with his fork.

"First of all, I would like to propose a toast to the Cullens. The meal tonight was wonderful, and we thank you for your hospitality." Jake and I clinked our glasses together while my vampire family just nodded their thanks to Sam. "Also, I have an announcement to make." He motioned for Emily to stand up, and she did so, blushing. He grabbed her hand and kissed it. "Emily and I are expecting our first child." He grinned as everyone broke out in applause, and his fellow pack members hooted and howled.

When everyone had calmed down a little, Jake stood up with his glass. "To Sam and Emily," he toasted. "May your new little one fill your life with joy." As he stood there, I experienced one of those rare moments when I saw Jake as something more than just my best friend, or even my crush. I saw him for what he truly was, an Alpha, a leader. His voice rang with underlying authority. We all clinked our glasses together again as Jake sat down.

"Thank you Jacob," said Sam. "There is more to this announcement, though. I have decided, after thinking about it extensively, that I want to grow as my family grows, to live life as they live it. That is, I want to step down as Alpha." We all sat in shocked silence as the news sank in.

"Can you _do _that?" asked Seth, the first one to speak up. "I mean, can an Alpha just step down? Is that allowed?"

"I have spoken to the elders about it and consulted the histories," answered Sam. "According to legend, should an Alpha step down, die, or otherwise be unable to continue, the next in line… well, for the throne, figuratively speaking… should take his place. Jacob," he continued. Jake suddenly jerked his head from where he had been scowling at his plate up to look at Sam. "since, as we all know, I was never intended to be Alpha in the first place, the right reverts to you. The packs will become one." Again, we all sat in silence, unsure of what to do.

"I…I don't know," Jake said as he ran his hand over his face. He suddenly looked much older, haggard. I was beginning to see how much the responsibility of being an Alpha weighed on him. "I just, I don't know if I can handle that," he said. "Can I think on it for a couple of days?" he asked.

Sam nodded. "Of course Jacob. I realize how much of a burden I have placed on you. Please know that I respect whatever decision you make, and that I in no way made my choice lightly."

"God, I wish I could still eat that stuff," Emmett said, breaking the tension as he eyed the prime rib still left on my plate.

I laughed lightly, playing along. "You're welcome to try, but I don't think that it would work out very well for you."

After that, everyone started to filter out little by little. I said goodbye to Sam and Emily as they left, congratulating them. Would I ever know the joy Emily is feeling right now? You could see it in her eyes; she was glowing with it.

After we had picked everything up and placed the dishes in the dishwasher, we all gathered in the living room. I sat next to Jake on the couch. I purposefully let my leg touch his as we sat, but I don't think he even noticed. He was too lost in thought, struggling with his decision.

Carlisle cleared his throat. "As you all know, I have been trying to contact Nahuel this past week with no success. In the past, I could always reach him within a day. I have talked to Zafrina and the Amazons, and they have not heard from him or Huilen for several weeks. This is very concerning to me."

"What are you saying, Carlisle?" my mom asked.

"I'm concerned that something might have happened to them. Perhaps Joham…"

"Or the Volturi," interrupted Jasper.

"Yes, or the Volturi," continued Carlisle, "could have something to do with their disappearance."

"Alice, have you seen anything from the Volturi? Or from Joham?" asked my dad.

"No, but I don't think I would be able to see anything," said Alice, looking frustrated. "If their futures were intertwined with Nahuel's, they would disappear. I haven't noticed anything out of the ordinary, but I don't see very much of anything anymore." She looked slightly ashamed, and Jasper rubbed her shoulders comfortingly.

"Alice," said Esme, "you know it's not your fault. All of our lives are so intertwined with Renesmee, and Jacob's, lives that you couldn't possibly be expected to see our futures all of the time. Don't be so hard on yourself," said Esme with compassion in her tone.

Alice just sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose between her fingers as she concentrated. "No," she said after a couple of seconds. "I haven't seen anything that indicates the Volturi's involvement. As I've never had contact with Joham, I have no idea what his future holds unless it directly affects us in some way. So far, we can assume that his future does not concern us."

"But it could concern Nahuel," said my father, his eyes dark. I think he loathed the vampire Joham almost more than he loathed the Volturi. My mom explained it to me once. Apparently, my dad blamed himself completely for my mom almost dying during pregnancy. The fact that a vampire would purposefully impregnate human females and then leave them to die made him livid. Even now, I could see the fury in his face.

"I think," continued Carlisle, "that our best course of action would be to go to Brazil and try and find them ourselves. They are our friends, and we need to help them in their time of need." I was immediately excited at the thought of going to Brazil. I hadn't seen Zafrina and the rest of the Amazon coven for over a year. Zafrina was like another aunt to me; I adored her as much as Alice and Rosalie.

"Carlisle," my mom asked, "if Nahuel is in danger, shouldn't we be concerned for Renesmee's safety?" Jacob looked at me in alarm.

I shook my head. "That doesn't make sense," I countered. I could see where this conversation was going. "We don't even know if Nahuel _is_ in danger."

"It's too dangerous," said Rosalie. "We will not put you at risk by taking you to Brazil." Everyone in my family nodded in agreement, and I sank back into the couch with my arms crossed. Figures. Trying to protect me, like always.

My dad looked at me as he heard my thoughts. "Renesmee, I know how much you wanted to see Zafrina, but it's too risky. I won't put your life in danger." I didn't say anything. I mean, it made sense, but that didn't mean I had to like it.

"I think it would be best if we split up," said Carlisle. "Esme, Alice, Jasper, and I can go down to South American and attempt to locate Nahuel. The rest of you will stay here." Everyone nodded in agreement.

"We can just postpone Nessie and my birthday party until after you get back," my mom said, looking slightly relieved.

"Oh no," said Alice. "You're not weaseling yourselves out of this birthday party. We'll have it next Saturday night and leave on Sunday. A week isn't going to make that much difference, will it Carlisle?"

"Well no, I suppose not. I have to give the hospital a little notice anyway," he said as my mom's face fell. "I'll go call Zafrina right away." He left to go to his office, and Esme followed him.

"Do you want to go sit on the porch?" I asked Jake. He nodded, and we walked outside. We sat on the steps, and I asked "are you okay?" He had barely said a word since Sam made his announcement.

He let out a sigh and ran his hand over his face again. "Yeah. It's just a lot to think about, you know?"

"Yeah. But you don't have to decide right away. I mean, Sam said you could think about it for a couple of days, right?"

He sighed again and put his head in his hands. "But I shouldn't have to think about it. I should assume my place as Alpha; it's my duty. I just hate being forced into something that I never wanted in the first place." He looked so broken, so torn. I scooted closer to him and leaned against his side. He put his arm around me, and we sat together, not saying anything. "I have to say yes," he murmured. I nodded wordlessly, not wanting this moment to end. It felt so right to be in Jake's arms. "I should go tell Sam tonight. I'll tell the rest tomorrow." He got up off the steps and pulled me to my feet.

"I knew you would make the right choice, Chief." He chuckled lightly and pulled me into a hug.

"Goodnight," he whispered into my hair. I just waved as he walked to his Rabbit and drove away.

…

Over the next week, Carlisle and the rest prepared for their trip, and Jake told the pack of his decision. I don't think Paul wasn't particularly happy to have Jacob be Alpha. From what I heard from Seth, Paul had no claim to be Alpha, but he didn't like having to be subordinate to someone younger than he was. Sam decided that he was going to step down as Alpha immediately but still be a member of the pack until the baby was born. That way, the transition was a little smoother for everyone. I admired the way Jake accepted his destiny without complaining.

On Saturday, the main house was a flurry of activities, all directed by Alice, of course. My mom and I were banished to the cottage until five o'clock. At that point, we were supposed to walk in and be surprised, or at least, act surprised.

My dad got roped into helping set up for the party, so my mom and I watched a movie together. At noon, he came home with a tray of food for me that Esme had made. Normal families would just eat leftovers after a party last night but for one, we weren't exactly normal, and for two, there were never any leftovers when the wolves were around. Esme instead made me a cheeseburger with a salad. I would have much rather gone hunting, but Alice had forbidden that too.

As I sat in my favorite chair and ate, my mom and dad settled themselves on the couch holding hands. "Renesmee," my dad said, "even though your birthday isn't until next Friday, we wanted to give you your birthday present early." My mom looked at him expectantly as he pulled a small black box out of his pocket. He handed it to me.

"Thanks," I said, putting down my plate. It was too big of a box to hold jewelry. I opened it and saw a silver key.

"Another part of your birthday present is more freedom. That's a key to your new car. We want you to be able to visit Charlie, or La Push whenever you like. Within reason, of course." Wait, they got me a car?

"You got me a _car_? Like, a real one?"

My dad chuckled. "Yes, a real one. I would take you to see it, but Alice would throw a fit."

"So what kind of car did you get me?"

He pursed his lips and smiled. "Nope. No more details until you see it."

I rolled my eyes. Typical Dad. "Do you know what kind of car it is?" I asked my mom.

"No. I told him that I didn't want any part of choosing a car for you. For one, I know absolutely nothing about cars, and for two, it's impossible for your dad or his family to buy anything moderately priced or reasonable in any way." She glared at my dad, and he smirked at her.

"You would think you'd be used to having unlimited amounts of money by now. It's been over five years," he said playfully.

"I don't think I'll _ever _get used to it, even if I have all of eternity."

My dad laughed and kissed her lightly. "I have to go back and help with the party prep. I'll be back later to change." He kissed my mom goodbye, kissed the top of my head, and left.

My mom and I finished watching our movie (she cried at the ending) after my dad left. As I was putting the DVD back into the case, the front door swung open and Alice skipped into the room with several garment bags, multiple shoe boxes, a makeup case and several other bags from her favorite boutiques all precariously perched in her hands.

My mom looked horrified. "Good Lord, Alice. We already have closets full of clothes, most of which we've never worn."

Alice glared at her. "That is not something to be proud of. We can either do this the easy way or the hard way."

My mom tried to stifle a grin. "What's the hard way?" Alice just glared at her murderously. "Fine. Renesmee, you'd better go shower." I laughed and walked off to my room.

…

When I got out of the shower, I put on the lace underwear and strapless bra Alice had laid on the counter and threw a silk robe that I had never seen before on over them. _God forbid I not wear brand new underwear to my birthday party._

"We're in your parents' bathroom!" yelled Alice when she heard me moving in my room. When I walked in, I stopped and stared. Alice had two stools in front of the counter. My mom was already there, looking uncomfortable. The counter was covered with beauty products (all for me, I assume), and garment bags hung everywhere. Alice was in the process of drying my mom's hair. "Sit down; you're next," she said over the noise of the dryer. I sat down as Rosalie knocked on the door.

"Sorry I'm late."

"It's fine," said Alice. "You can start curling Bella's hair. Is everything ready at the house?"

"Yes," said Rosalie as she wrapped a section of my mom's hair around a large-barreled curling iron. "Everything except the food, and Esme and Edward are busy getting that ready."

"Good," she said as she dried my hair. When it was dry, she pursed her lips. "How opposed are you to having a few inches cut off?"

"Of my hair?" I asked incredulously. I've never had my hair cut.

"No, of your legs." She rolled her eyes. Gosh, she got snippy when she was in makeover mode.

"Sure, I guess." I swallowed the lump in my throat.

"Okay, turn around."

"What?" I asked, confused.

"Turn around. I don't want you to see until you're completely perfect. You too," she said, pointing to my mom. My mom rolled her eyes as we both complied.

Two hours later, I felt like a piece of furniture that had been sanded, primed, and painted. Alice handed me a deep green dress. "Try this one," she said, "but be careful of your hair!" I slipped the dress over my head and turned around so my mom could zip me up.

"Alice, I know I don't have your eye for fashion, but I think this is the one," my mom said as she turned me around.

"I think you're right. You're officially perfect." She spun me towards the mirror, and I gasped. My hair was several inches shorter than it had been. Alice had tamed my curls and pulled them into a side ponytail that was elegantly curled.

My deep emerald dress brought out the red in my hair. It was tight fitting at the top and flared out from my waist. It was sophisticated, but still fun.

"Here, put these on," she said, handing me a pair of black, peep-toe sling-back pumps with ridiculously high heels.

"How am I supposed to walk?" I asked.

"Carefully," she ordered as she turned to my mom. "You, put this on. " My mom slipped a black dress over her head. My mouth dropped open as Rosalie zipped her up.

"Mom, you look…"

"Stunning," said my dad from the doorway. He was right. She was wearing a fitted black dress. It was solid black with a sweetheart neckline, but it had a high neck and long sleeves made of black lace. Alice put her in the same shoes as me, only my mom's were bright red. Her hair was loose about her shoulders in long waves. My dad walked over and kissed her passionately while I looked away awkwardly.

Alice cleared her throat, saving me from further embarrassment. "Well, I have to go get changed. You need to be at the house at five thirty on the dot." She hugged my mom and I and left.

Rosalie hugged me and said "you look so beautiful." She smiled and hugged my mom. "See you in a little bit."

I left so my dad could get changed. My parents walked out hand in hand. My dad was in all black: black shoes, black pants, a black shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and a black tie. "Shall we?" he asked, offering me his arm.

"We shall," I said with a laugh as we left our quiet cottage behind us.

**Again, please review! They make my day!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Okay everyone! Here is what was originally part of Chapter 5. I hope you like it. This chapter is a happy chapter, but be prepared for some conflict in upcoming chapters. Enjoy the happiness while it lasts! Please, please, PLEASE review. I would love to know what your favorite part was in this chapter, as well as anything that can be improved. Happy reading!**

I gasped as we reached the big house. The front drive was full of cars. Every light in the house was on, and I could see the silhouettes of my friends and family in the windows. Beyond the house, I could see the backyard. There were twinkle lights decorating every tree, and there were a couple of dozen tables draped with white tablecloths covered with elaborate flower arrangements.

I looked up at my parents. My mom looked absolutely horrified. "It could have been worse," my dad said.

_How could it possibly be any worse? _My dad just chuckled and led my mom and me to the front door. He opened the door and motioned for my mom and me to walk in first.

"Happy Birthday!" all of our family and friends yelled. I couldn't help but grin. Even if the entire party was completely over the top, it was still nice to be celebrated.

Alice was the first to hug us. "You're welcome," she said with a grin as she hugged first me, then my mom.

"Thanks, Alice," I laughed. The rest of my vampire family followed Alice's lead, hugging us both.

Emmett whistled as he walked up to me. "I can't believe your dad let you out of the house in that dress. You look smokin' hot." My dad glared at him. "What? She should take it as a compliment."

"Don't worry; I do. Thanks Emmett."

Charlie and Sue were next in line. "Happy Birthday, Nessie," he said as he hugged me awkwardly. "Wow Bells, you look…umm… great. Happy Birthday," he said to my mom as he hugged her gingerly.

"Thanks Dad," she said returning his hug. "Thank you so much for coming, Sue." My mom smiled warmly at Seth and Leah's mom.

"Wouldn't miss it." Sue smiled back. "Happy Birthday to both of you."

After Charlie and Sue came the wolf pack. They all told me "happy birthday" and teased me good-naturedly. Embry had brought his girlfriend, Jill, again. _They must be pretty serious_, I thought.

"Thank you so much for coming, Jill. I'm so glad that there will finally be another girl around. Life gets pretty old hanging around with all of these guys."

"You're welcome," she said, smiling shyly. "I hope that we can get to know each other better. I'll need someone to help me navigate the waters of being in love with a wolf." I saw Embry shake his head infinitesimally, and she blushed. "Oh, I'm sorry…I just assumed…"

"Think nothing of it," I said, trying to get over my blush. "I may not be able to help you out with being in love, but I sure can offer advice about being around a bunch of teenage boys that explode into giant wolves. We'll have to catch up later." She nodded, and they both went to go wish my mom a happy birthday.

Billy was next. He clasped my hand as he told me "happy birthday."

I bent down and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Thank you so much for coming," I said.

Jake was the very last to find me. _Finally_, I thought to myself. He pulled me into a giant hug, and I closed my eyes to savor the moment. He released me too soon for my liking, but I put a smile on my face.

"Happy Birthday. You, umm, look beautiful." My heart soared as I looked down at my dress, blushing.

"Thanks. You don't look too shabby yourself." That was the understatement of the century. He looked freakin' _amazing_. He was wearing a dark gray v-neck t-shirt underneath a black blazer with dark jeans and shoes. _Good Lord._ For a kid who enjoyed running around as a giant naked wolf, he sure knew how to rock wearing clothes.

"Thanks. I wasn't sure if this was going to be too informal…" he trailed off.

"No, it's perfect." I tried to see if he was carrying a card.

"Sorry, I had to put it with the rest of them. Alice's rules." I looked over to where he pointed, and my mouth fell open. I was expecting a stack of cards, not a huge pile of presents.

"Are all of those for me?" They couldn't all be for me.

"Yep. Your mom's are over there." My mom had a slightly smaller pile.

Alice skipped over to us then. "But neither of you get to open anything until after supper. Everyone," she called to the crowd, "please go take your seats. Dinner is served!"

…

After dinner, Alice and Jasper brought the presents out to the backyard. "Bella, Renesmee," she called as she waved us back up next to the house. She shoved me, rather hard, into a chair next to the one my mom was already sitting in.

"Sheesh Alice. I really don't need any presents." She just glared at me and looked at Jasper pointedly. I felt my irritation vanish and looked at my presents excitedly. Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew that it was Jasper's doing, but at the moment, I really didn't care.

"Okay Nessie. You first," said Alice as she held the camera ready. I grabbed the box nearest to me and unwrapped it carefully. Inside was a tattered book with "Recipes" written on the cover. I opened it, and inside it said:

_Renesmee, This was mine when I was human. It contains all of my favorite recipes from my human life. Along the way, I've added some more. Your mother's favorites from when she was human are in here, as well as some as your own favorites. I'm hoping we can cook through them together. Love always, Esme and Carlisle._

I closed the recipe book and clasped it to my chest. "Thank you so much." I set it on the table and walked over to give Esme and Carlisle both a hug.

My mom was next, and I handed her my gift. She opened it and gasped. I had framed the portrait I had sketched of my parents. I had given everyone else theirs already but saved my mom's for this moment. "Thank you," she whispered, giving me a hug. She turned it around and everyone "awwed" appreciatively.

My next gift was from Billy. Inside a small box was a life-size hummingbird figurine. Billy was notorious for his carvings, and I examined the small wooden bird carefully. "It's amazing Billy. Thank you."

Both of us opened a few more heartfelt gifts, and then I chose one that I immediately knew was from Jake, just by the way it was wrapped. I was surprised though. Normally he just gets me a card, and he makes me a bracelet every year. This year his gift was in a box, and it was heavy.

I peeled off the wrapping paper and opened the box. My mouth fell open in surprise. Inside the box was another box, wooden and ornately carved with a forest scene. "Did you make this?" I whispered. Jake just grinned and ducked his head. I pulled the box out and opened it carefully. Inside the lid was a picture of the two of us that Alice had taken a few months ago. We were walking to the house, holding hands and laughing. Neither one of us was looking at the camera, but it was perfect. It totally captured who we are. Inside the box was the gift I was expecting: a woven bracelet with a wolf charm. "Wow Jake. Thanks."

We finished opening presents and ate the giant cake Esme wheeled out of the house. Eventually, Charlie and Sue came to tell us goodbye. "Us old folks are going to head out," he said, giving me a hug. "Happy Birthday again."

"Happy Birthday, Renesmee. Bella," Sue said, giving both of us a light hug.

"You kids go ahead and have your fun," said Charlie as they left. I waved and turned around to see Quil.

"I'm going to go run Claire home. I'll be back later."

"But I don't want to go!" the nine-year old pleaded.

"It's past your bedtime already. Your mom will kill me if I don't get you home."

I picked her up and spun around. "It's alright Claire-bear. We'll have to hang out sometime soon. And thank you so much for the nail polish. The pink sparkly one is my favorite." Claire beamed and waved as she and Quil left.

Billy wheeled his wheelchair in front of us. "I had better turn in to. Happy Birthday again," he said as both my mom and I kissed him on the cheek.

Once Billy left, my dad turned to me with a grin on his face. "Do you want to see your car now?" he asked.

I had completely forgotten about my present from my parents. "Umm, sure?" I said, making my answer a question.

Jake was by my side in an instant. "She wants to see it. Lead the way, bloodsucker." I rolled my eyes. At least Jake would be excited about my car, even if I could care less.

The four of us made our way to the garage followed by our friends and family. "Wait here," my dad said when we entered the garage. Jake grabbed my hand, bouncing with excitement. My dad walked over to the car covered with a sheet that I assumed was mine. With Emmett's help, he flung the sheet off, and my jaw dropped.

Jake's eyes about popped out of his head. "You got her a _Corvette_?" he asked with blatant jealousy.

My mom glared at my dad, and he grinned sheepishly. "What?" he asked. "It's a Chevy, just like your old truck." She just shook her head at him wordlessly.

Jake dragged me over to the side of my new car. It was shiny; a pretty light blue color.

"That's the best part," my dad said, answering my thoughts. "The color is Carlisle Blue." Everyone chuckled appreciatively, and even my mom cracked a smile.

Jake shook his head. "That's not the best part. The best part is the custom leather interior. The best part is the 430 horsepower. The best part," he said as his voice dropped to a whisper, "is that this baby can go from zero to sixty in 3.95 seconds." His eyes gazed with wonder at my car.

"Jake, can you step back a little? I don't want any drool spots on it." Jake just rolled his eyes as he tried to peer in the dark tinted windows. I unlocked the car, causing him to jump. The better part of the wolf pack gathered around as a swung the door open. I let them ogle the interior for a few moments before I eased the door shut again. "Alright boys, that's enough. Let's get back to the party."

"You're not even going to take it for a spin?" Jared asked incredulously.

I shook my head. "It will still be there later. Besides, I'm not going to leave in the middle of my own party. That would be rude." Everyone followed me back inside, and I turned to Alice. "Alice, can we get some tunes going up in here? This party is starting to get a little boring."

She jumped up and down and clapped. "I'm so glad you are getting into this whole party thing!" she called over her shoulder as she ran to the stereo system.

As a quick-tempo dance number blared out of the speakers in the living room, Emmett grabbed me by the hand. "Alright, little girl, let's show 'em how it's done!" He pulled me into the middle of the dance floor while Alice's camera clicked away feverishly. Emmett twirled me around until the song ended, and I was completely winded. I didn't get much time to recover, because Jasper was next to claim me. Soon everyone else was dancing too. My parents swayed quietly in a corner while Emmett and Rosalie and Alice and Jasper intimidated the rest of us with their dancing skills.

Sam and Emily sat on the couch the had been pushed off to the side, content to watch the rest of us. Paul and Rachel, Jared and Kim, and Embry and Jill all joined us on the dance floor. Even though the songs were all up-tempo, Embry and Jill swayed slowly side to side. Every once and a while, Embry would lean down and press his lips softly to Jill's. I smiled. Someday, I wanted a love like that.

Jake, Seth, Leah, and Quil all stood to the side watching everyone else. Laughing, I ran over and pulled Seth onto the dance floor behind me. "Come on Seth! You can't stand on the sidelines forever!" He laughed and attempted to swing dance with me good-naturedly. When that song was over, I grabbed Quil. "Leah, I demand you find someone to dance with! It's my birthday, and I refuse to let you be a wallflower." I look of irritation crossed her face, and I felt a little sorry that I had said anything. Leah and I had never been close. She merely tolerated my existence, unlike the rest of the wolves who treated me like a kid sister.

I looked at Jake pointedly. He sighed and grabbed Leah by the hand, pulling her on to the floor. I tried not to feel jealous as I watched her laugh as Jake attempted to spin her out and back in.

When the song ended, I let Quil go back to his place on the wall, and I went over and poured myself a glass of punch. "Alice!" I yelled over the music. "I think us non vampires need a break!" She nodded and walked over to the stereo system. I expected her to turn down the music so we could all take a break from dancing, but instead, she turned it to a slow song.

I watched Sam pull Emily onto the dance floor. All of the couples were on the floor now, swaying slowly to the ballad Alice had selected. I looked over to the wall where the rest of my single friends had been standing, but I didn't see Jake.

"Care to dance?" a voice asked, and I about dropped my glass of punch. I was surprised he asked at all. Dancing to a slow song seemed like a very couple-like thing to do, and it was obvious to me that Jake didn't think about me that way.

I wasn't stupid though. Even if Jake didn't think about me that way, I wasn't going to pass up this moment. I nodded as I set down my drink. I placed a hand on his shoulder, and he placed on hand on the small of my back. His other hand held mine as we spun slowly in the center of the room.

I tried not to grin, but it was hard. This was such a perfect moment.

"You look really beautiful, you know," he whispered into my ear.

"You said that already," I said, looking into his eyes. I was mentally kicking myself for my stupid response. _Smooth, Ness, real smooth, _I thought.

He smiled. "I know, but it's true," he whispered. He looked into my eyes, and as the music slowly reached an end, he leaned down and pressed his lips to mine.

**Yay! I'm so excited that this big moment finally happened! Please review! Thanks!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey everyone! Sorry for the gap between updates. I've been super lately. Also, I'm sorry for not responding to some of the reviews. Please know that I read and appreciate every one of them. That said, please keep reviewing. Let me know what you think. Thanks!**

I wish I could say that I wrapped my arms around Jake's neck and kissed him back, and that the whole thing was incredibly romantic. Sadly, that wasn't the case. Instead, I completely froze.

_Oh my God. Jake is kissing me! What do I do? My parents are right here! Crap, he's going to think I'm an idiot! _Jake pulled away and smiled at me. When he saw my wide, panicked eyes, his smile wavered.

"Aww, Ness. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have done that. I'm really sorry. Look, I'll just go, okay?"

When he said he was leaving, I jerked myself out of my trance. "No, stop!" I said, holding his hand tightly so he couldn't walk out the door. I didn't even notice that Alice had turned the music off, or that everyone in the room was watching our exchange.

Jake's face was beet red. "No, I'm really sorry. That was a really stupid thing to do. I just…I…." he stammered.

What could I say to make him feel better? This was unchartered ground for me. He tried to break himself from my grasp and bolt for the door again. "Stop!" I commanded as I jerked him around to face me. "I'm not sorry," I said. "I'm so happy right now; I still can't wrap my head around it. I mean, I've liked you forever, but I didn't think you liked me. And then you kissed me! Well, really I've only liked you…like that…for a couple of weeks. I mean, I've always been friends with you, but, well…" As I babbled on like an idiot, a smile slowly stretched across his face. "What?" I asked him. I'd gone and embarrassed myself again. Instead of answering, he pulled me into a crushing hug.

"Well, it's about Goddamn time!" barked Emmett, laughing. _Crap. _I had completely forgotten that we had an audience. _Well this is embarrassing._ I tried to step away from Jake, but he just grabbed my hand and moved to my side.

I looked down at his hand wrapped around mine. I had no idea what to do now. I mean, we kissed. Well, he kissed me while I stood there in shock. I convinced him that it was okay, and now we were awkwardly standing here…side by side…holding hands. Even if I wasn't projecting my thoughts to Jake, he seemed to know what I was thinking. He squeezed my hand reassuringly.

Not knowing what else to do, I looked at my parents. They were still standing in the corner where they had been dancing. My dad's arms were still wrapped around my mom, but he looked a little sick. It looked like he was trying to avoid my gaze. My mom, however, met my gaze, eyebrows raised. She had her lips pursed, but instead of looking mad, like I had expected, she looked like she was trying not to laugh.

"So…" I said, hoping that someone else would say something.

Jake just looked at me and grinned. "So…" he countered. Everyone else just looked at us, grinning.

"Well," said Emmett, finally breaking the awkward silence, "this has been fun, but I think my beautiful, sexy wife and I are going to turn in." He leered at Rose, and she giggled as she pulled him towards the stairs. He paused at the bottom of the stairwell and turned around. "Oh, and Jake, congrats. At least this time, you didn't get punched in the face."

My entire family burst out laughing as Emmett and Rose dashed up the stairs. I looked at Jake quizzically. "Who punched you in the face?" I asked. My question just made everyone laugh harder. I looked away from Jake in time to see my mom bury her face in my dad's shoulder, and he kissed the top of her head, suppressing a grin. Some things I was better off not knowing about.

The awkward silence ended as everyone else decided to leave as well. I thanked them all for coming as they filed out, and they wished me happy birthday and shared knowing looks with Jake.

Finally, only my vampire family, Jake, and I were left. The house seemed oddly quiet with only Jake and my hearts beating. Jake looked at me like he was dying to say something, but I wasn't really sure if I wanted to hear what he had to say. Avoiding his gaze, I walked to the backyard to gather my gifts. I sighed when I heard him following behind me. He usually wasn't this clingy. Or maybe he was, and now I was just hyper-aware of his presence.

Jake and I wordlessly began gathering up my gifts. When he wasn't looking at me, I snuck glances at him. He looked so _happy_. I don't think I have ever seen him grin so big. It was more than that though; his body radiated happiness. I felt guilty for not sharing in his joy. I mean, don't get me wrong; having Jake kiss me was possibly one of the greatest moments in my life thus far. But on top of that, I was completely freaked out and a nervous wreck. I didn't know how to be more than just friends with Jake. I had no idea how relationships worked. What was I supposed to do?

Just as we were piling the last of my gifts into our arms, my parents appeared with my mom's gifts. "It's getting late," said my dad. "Why don't we take these back to the cottage?"

"Yeah, okay," Jake and I said at the same time, and I giggled somewhat hysterically.

We all said goodbye to the rest of my family and walked back to the cottage. I didn't look at Jake as he bounced along beside me. There was a tension between us; I could feel it. It wasn't harsh or negative; it was more like a current. There was an…_electricity_… between us. I could almost hear it buzzing.

My parents walked ahead of us, and my dad kept turning around to look at Jake and me. Every time he turned, my mom jerked on his hand with a nearly audible "leave them be!" hissed in his ear.

The four of walked into the cottage, set the gifts down, and stood there, awkwardly. Jake and I turned to each other to say something at the same time. "You first," he said with a grin.

"Well," I said with a gulp. It was hard to form a coherent sentence when he was staring into my eyes. "I was just going to say that I was going to change into something more comfortable."

"Oh. Yeah. I'll just wait here." He took a seat on the couch while my dad shot him a glare.

I walked inside my room and shut the door quietly behind me. I leaned against the wall and tried to keep my breathing even. _Good Lord, that boy makes me nervous. _Every time he looked my way, my heart took off. The memory of our kiss made my breathing speed up, and I had to start the calming down process all over again.

As I stood there, I heard my parents talking to Jake. "When are you going to tell her?" my mom asked softly.

"I don't know," said Jake. "I don't want to rush into anything."

"That's a good idea. I think this relationship between the two of you should progress as slow as possible," said my dad. _So that's the way it's going to be, _I thought to myself. _What are they talking about out there anyway_?

"You'll have to tell her eventually," said my mom. My dad must have shot her one of his signature glares. "Well, it's true. We can't keep her in the dark forever."

My desire to keep listening warred with my irritation at them keeping secrets from me, and the irritation won. I threw my dress on the bed and put on a t-shirt and some shorts. Before I could say anything, my dad turned to me.

"It's late," he said. "I think it's time you went to bed Nessie." _I deserve to know! _I shouted at him in my thoughts. "Jake," he motioned at me.

"Oh." Jake got up and wiped his palms on his jeans nervously. "Umm, walk me out?" he asked, reaching for my hand.

"Sure," I said, my heart racing when our hands met. We walked out to the path that would lead him back to his car.

We stopped where the path turned into the woods. We turned towards each other, and before he could say anything, I asked, "what are you keeping from me?"

He bit his lip. "I'm sorry. I can't tell you yet." I ground my teeth together, irritated. I was tired of all the secrecy. He reached up and ran his thumb lightly over my cheekbone. "I really am sorry," he said again. "I promise I'll tell you someday. Someday soon," he added as he stared into my eyes.

I sighed. It was impossible to stay mad at him when he looked at me like that. "I guess I can wait a little longer."

"Good. I should go before your dad comes out and skins me alive. Happy Birthday." My heart sped up as he leaned towards me, but he just kissed me lightly on the cheek. He laughed softly at my dejected face. "One step at a time," he whispered as he walked into the darkness.

**Please review! Thanks for reading!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hello loyal readers! I am so sorry for the huge break in-between posts. My life has been so crazy. I normally try and post longer chapters than this, but I felt that I needed to give you something. Hopefully after next week I'll be able to update regularly, that is, if you haven't given up on me yet. Thanks for reading, and please review!**

I walked back to the house in a daze, my hand pressed to my cheek where Jake had kissed me goodnight. What were we supposed to do now? Date? Continue to be best friends? I didn't think we could just continue on the way we were before. I hoped he had a plan because I sure as hell didn't. And what was everyone keeping from me? Apparently, everyone was in on the secret but me. If Jake wouldn't tell me, maybe my parents would. Or in any case, maybe my mom would. She seemed in favor of the idea.

I reached the cottage and let myself in quietly. I turned around and wasn't surprised to see my parents waiting for me.

"Did you tell Jake goodnight?" my mom asked.

I rolled my eyes. "No, I walked him out and left without saying anything. Of course I told him goodnight." Was it normal for parents to be this irritating?

"He just kissed her on the cheek," my dad said. That must have been what my mom was looking for.

_God Dad, stay out of my head._ I thought with irritation. He just frowned at me instead of responding.

I clenched my teeth in irritation. "Whatever. I'm going to bed."

As I turned to leave, my dad's voice stopped me. "Renesmee Carlie, you were raised to be more polite than that." I took a deep breath to refrain from unleashing a tirade about how I was raised to tell the truth and be honest with others, but apparently that didn't apply to keeping secrets from me. Well, my dad heard the tirade in my head, but I just turned around and sighed.

"I'm sorry." I said. I walked over to my mom and gave her a kiss goodnight. "Goodnight. I'm glad we celebrated our birthdays together." She just hugged me and gave me a kiss on the forehead.

"Goodnight Nessie."

I walked over to my dad and wrapped my arms around his waist. "Goodnight Dad. Thank you for a wonderful night and an awesome first car. I love it." _Even if Mom thinks it's completely ridiculous, _I thought.

I felt him smile into my hair as he kissed the top of my head. "Goodnight," he whispered.

"Love you," I said as I walked into my room and closed the door. Even after all of the hugs and kisses, I was still irritated with them both. I yawned. I would have to confront the issue of whatever they were keeping from me tomorrow because right now, I was exhausted.

…

My mom woke me up way too early. "Nessie, I know you would love to sleep until noon today, but they need to get to the airport." I rolled over and groaned. I had completely forgotten in all the excitement of the party that Carlisle, Esme, Alice, and Jasper were leaving early this morning for Brazil.

I stumbled out of bed and to the bathroom where I threw my hair into a sloppy ponytail and brushed my teeth. I washed my face hoping to wake myself up a little more but to no avail.

My mom looked at my choice of wardrobe- a pair of athletic shorts that I smuggled home on a shopping trip once and an old "Forks High" t-shirt of my mom's with raised eyebrows when I staggered sleepily out of my room and into the hallway. "Alice is going to have your head for that outfit."

"Some of us prefer sleep over style," I said through a yawn.

"Ready?" my dad asked as he shut the door to my parents' room.

"I guess," I said through another yawn as we walked outside. I stopped just outside the door. "Are you kidding me? It's not even light out!" The warm light of dawn was just barely starting to peek through the trees. No wonder I was so exhausted. I had only gotten a couple hours of sleep. My parents just chuckled and kept walking.

We got to the main house where everyone was waiting for us. Esme hugged me first. "I'm going to miss you so much. There are a couple of meals in the fridge for you to heat up while we're gone." She placed a palm on my cheek and moved onto my parents.

"Esme, we can cook too you know," my mom said with a laugh. Esme just shook her head with a smile and hugged them both before walking to the car where she waited for Carlisle.

"Be good," he said to me as he kissed the top of my head.

"As if I'm ever not," I said as Emmett snorted.

He smiled. "Call me if there are any drastic changes with your body while I'm gone. Well, call anyway, just to say hi," he said as he smiled.

I smiled back. "Will do. Love you."

Jasper and Alice were next. "Did you even look in the mirror this morning?" she asked incredulously. "Where did you even get those shorts? Actually, don't answer that. Rest assured that I am coming back from Brazil with an entire new wardrobe for you!" She laughed as I rolled my eyes and gave me a hug. "Love you! Try and dress yourself appropriately while we're gone."

Jasper gave me a hug as I was rolling my eyes and whispered in my ear conspiratorially. "Give Em hell while I'm gone."

"Ha!" I laughed good naturedly. "No worries there." With that, Jasper and Alice climbed in the back seat of the car and waved goodbye as Carlisle drove out of sight.

When they were gone, I turned back to my parents. "Can I go back to bed now?" I asked through a yawn.

"How about I make you breakfast instead?" my dad said. I frowned contemplatively. I was exhausted, but I was also hungry. "French toast," my dad said trying to convince me not to go back to bed.

I sighed and rolled my eyes as I went to go sit at the island in the kitchen. He knew my weakness for a good batch of French toast.

Before I could doze off at the counter, my mom slid a glass of orange juice to me. "Drink," she commanded.

I took a sip and set the glass aside. I laid my head down on the counter as I said "wake me up when it's ready."

Just as I was about to succumb to the blissful darkness of sleep, I heard heavy footsteps walk into the kitchen. "Did they leave for Brazil all ready?" I groaned internally. Alice was right. I should always put effort into my wardrobe. And my makeup. And my hair. Oh God. My hair. Maybe if I didn't move he would leave and wouldn't see how awful I looked.

"You just missed them," my dad said from the stove. "French toast?"

"Like you had to ask," Jake said with a laugh. "What's wrong with her?"

"She didn't get to sleep in this morning. Be careful Jake; she gets grumpy when she's tired."

Jake tried to pull my arms away from where they were hiding my face. When that didn't work he jabbed me in the sides to make me jump. I still refused to open my eyes. "I bet I know how to wake you up," he whispered mischievously in my ear, his breath warm on my neck.

I smiled at the thought of Jake's lips on my neck as my dad barked "don't even think about it!"

"All right. I'm up; I'm up," I said as I sat up straight. "I fall asleep for five minutes and you both are ready to kill each other." Jake just smirked as he sat on the stool next to me, reaching for my glass of orange juice. "Not going to happen," I said as I pulled my juice away from his bronzed fingers. "You know where the fridge is; go get your own."

He rolled his eyes as he walked to the fridge and poured himself a glass. "Both of you sit down and eat," my mom said.

…

After Jake and I finished our breakfast and did the dishes, I turned back around to face my parents who hadn't left the room. Keeping an eye on us, I guessed. "So what's on the agenda for today? Please tell me I don't have to do lessons. It's a Sunday," I begged.

"No, your lessons can wait until tomorrow," my dad said. "Actually, I thought I could teach you how to drive this morning."

"Teach me how to drive? But, I already know how…" I trailed off as my dad looked at me skeptically.

"When did you ever learn how to drive?" my mom asked.

"Well…I've never actually driven, but it can't be that hard. I figured that, well…"

"What?" Jake snorted. "You figured with you super-human smarts and reflexes that you could just hop in you Corvette and go? Please. You have to learn my doing. Some things can't be learned by reading about them, or even by playing video games with Emmett."

I huffed. "Fine. I'll go get my keys."

My dad moved to stand in front of the doorway. "Why don't we take my Volvo out for the first go? We wouldn't want to wrap your brand new car around a tree, would we?"

I sighed. "So little faith you have in me, Father," I said sarcastically as I turned the other direction and walked into the garage.

My dad followed, chuckling, as my mom yelled "wear a seatbelt!" I rolled my eyes and waved from the driver's seat of the Volvo. "And Edward," she said from the doorway, glaring at my dad, "make sure she stays under the speed limit!"


	9. Chapter 9

**Sorry everyone for not posting sooner. My aunt that I was very close to passed away, so these past couple of weeks have been hell. Things are starting to get back to a somewhat-normal state now, so I will try to start updating regularly. Please, please, PLEASE review! The more reviews I get, the more inspired I am, and the faster the updates will come!**

…

My dad chuckled to himself as he slid into the passenger seat. "Ready?" he asked as I buckled my seat belt.

I nodded hesitantly. I was suddenly nervous. In reality behind all of the false bravado, I had no idea what I was doing.

"Relax. You'll do fine," he said, answering my thoughts. I nodded, reassuring myself and reached for the key he held in his hand. "Hold on," he said. "First things first. The fat pedal on the floorboard is the brake, and the smaller pedal to the right is the gas." I nodded, touching each with my foot. "Use your right foot for both." He looked at me to make sure I understood, and I nodded again. "Now, your gear shift in here is in the center console, the same as your Corvette." I moved my right hand from where it was resting on the steering wheel to the gear shift. "Right now we're in park. After that is reverse, neutral, and then drive. After drive comes third and low gears, but we're not going to worry about those just yet, okay?"

I nodded. "Park, reverse, neutral, drive, third, and low. Got it."

"Good. To move from one gear to another, you just squeeze the button on the front side of the shifter and pull it back to the gear you want." He caught my hand as I reached for the shifter. "Don't shift until we've started the car, and make sure your foot is on the brake whenever you shift. Now, your headlights, which should be on since it's raining, are there." He pointed to the left of the steering wheel. "You can go ahead and turn them on." I clicked the lights on, and they illuminated the front of the garage.

"Are we ready to go yet?" I asked impatiently. At this rate, we were never going to get out of the garage.

"Not quite. My legs are longer than yours, so you should probably move the seat up." I quickly found the button I was looking for and moved the seat ahead to where I could comfortably reach the pedals. "Now readjust your mirrors and the steering wheel so you can see. Okay, now hit the button on the visor to open the garage door." He handed me the key. "Foot on the brake. Is your foot on the brake?"

"Yes Dad!" I snapped.

"Just double checking. Now put the key in the ignition and turn it."

There was a satisfying purr as the engine came to life. He coached me as I backed slowly out of the garage. I put the car in drive and went slowly down the driveway. He had me drive all over for hours, in all sorts of pretend situations. Eventually, after Dad made me fill up the Volvo with gas, he had me drive to Grandpa Charlie's.

I put the car in park in front of the little white house. I locked it with a satisfying beep of the horn as my dad and I walked up the front steps. Just as I knocked on the door, the knob turned and Charlie greeted us with his easy smile. "Well hi kiddo! Hi there, Edward. What brings you to my neck of the woods?"

"Dad was teaching me how to drive," I answered as we walked into the house.

Charlie paled a little a thought of me driving at such a young age. "I can't believe how fast you are growing up. How are the driving lessons going?" he asked, changing the subject from my accelerated growth rate.

"She's doing great," my dad said with pride. "She's a fast learner." I grinned to myself as I sat on my favorite spot on the couch in the front room. I've always been a little too cocky for my own good. Pride goeth before a fall and all that, but I couldn't help being a little smug at my stellar driving ability. I saw my dad roll his eyes behind Charlie's back, and my grin stretched even wider. I kicked off my shoes and pulled my feet up next to me.

"You look so much like your mom, sitting there like that," Charlie said nostalgically. My dad smiled softly, agreeing. I blushed, self-conscious.

Over the next hour we chatted about the weather, my homeschooling, fishing, and the party. I had to keep reminding myself that Charlie had no idea that Jake and I kissed. I don't think he would welcome the idea of me dating Jake. A swift glance at my dad reminded me that my dad didn't necessarily welcome the idea either.

When the clock struck eleven, my dad and I said goodbye. Charlie was meeting Sue for lunch at 11:30. After getting back in the Volvo, my dad had me drive around Forks for a little while longer.

"Why don't you take the highway north out of town?" I turned onto the highway, shooting him a questioning look. There wasn't anything on the highway to the north. Eventually you would get to Vancouver, but I hoped we weren't going that far. We had already been gone for a couple of hours. He just smiled to himself and shook his head, refusing to answer the questions in my thoughts.

We wove in and out of the trees and eventually were driving along the ocean. The road began to climb, and soon I was driving on top of the cliffs that rose up out of the surf.

We came to an overlook on the side of the highway looking out at the sea. "You can pull in here." I parked the car, and my dad stepped out into the light rain. With an impatient sigh, I followed him. I didn't understand why we were stopping here. It was just another unremarkable piece of coastline. "Just watch," he said, standing at the wooden railing preventing us from tumbling into the sea below.

With mild irritation, I gazed out at the gunmetal-gray sea. Just as I was about to turn around and go back to the car, something grabbed my attention. Rising up out of the dark waters, a huge whale plunged back into the sea. Soon there was another, and another. There were half a dozen of them. They seemed to be dancing amidst the waves.

"Humpbacks," said my dad. "Beautiful aren't they?" I nodded, mesmerized. We stood in companionable silence, watching the spectacle.

"Dad?" I asked, knowing that it was unnecessary. "I had a really great time today." I knew that he would hear the thoughts behind my words. He smiled as he heard how I loved spending time just the two of us, and how I wish we did it more often.

"Me too," he added, kissing the top of my head as he gave me a hug.

"Umm Dad? Can I ask you something?" He stiffened as he heard the question in my head. I knew I had to ask him out loud though. Otherwise, he would pretend that my question was just another one of the many thoughts running through my head. He looked at me from the corner of his eye. "I was just wondering…well…if you were okay, you know, with me and Jake…" I trailed off, confused by his raised eyebrows. I realized my mistake and rolled my eyes. "Jake and I," I said sarcastically. "Jeez Dad."

He grinned briefly, but then his face turned serious. I bit my lip, worried. I didn't know if I really wanted to know the answer to my question. "You have to realize that, one, you are my daughter, so no man will ever be good enough for you." He smiled as I rolled my eyes. "But aside from that," he continued, "you must try and understand how very young you seem to me. You were born only five years ago. I waited for over one hundred years to fall in love with your mother." I blanched at his words. Jake and I had only kissed once. I didn't want to think of the "L" word yet.

"I guess I just wondered if you were okay with us…dating…or whatever," I added to clarify and make my question more ambiguous at the same time.

"It's a work in progress," he said with a soft grin. "Jacob is truly part of our family, but that doesn't mean I won't murder him if he ever hurts you. I'm not thrilled about you being…romantically involved…with anyone, but I'd rather it was Jacob than anyone else. I trust him, and I trust you. Just don't rush into this too fast, okay?" I nodded. "Renesmee," he continued, "can I ask you a question?" He heard my affirmation in my thoughts, so he continued. "Are _you _okay with being romantically involved with Jacob?"

I sighed. Guess I opened myself up for that one. "I feel like it shouldn't be this hard to answer your question." His eyebrows furrowed, perplexed by both my answer and my thoughts. "I mean, I'm thrilled that Jake likes me the same way that I like him." I blushed. This was on my list of things I preferred not to talk to my parents about. "But, I have no idea how to bridge the gap from being best friends to something more. And, I'm scared to be something more because I don't want to stop being best friends. Plus, the fact that the three of you seem to be keeping some huge secret from me doesn't help to simplify things," I said, glaring at him.

He started walking towards the car. "You must be hungry. It's getting close to one," he said as he opened the driver's side door and got in.

"Yes. Let's just change the subject. That's very inconspicuous!" I shouted at the clouds as I stomped to the passenger side and climbed. I sat, fuming, with my arms crossed staring straight ahead.

"I know how frustrated you are." I scowled and refused to make eye contact. "And yes, Jacob, your mother, and I know something that you do not. For now, we feel that it is best to keep this information to ourselves. Someday, someday soon, we will tell you, but for now, try to put it out of your mind."

I huffed, still refusing to look at him. Who was he kidding? If this information concerned me, I deserved to know. It wasn't fair.

I stewed in silence all the way home as he drove. When he parked the Volvo in the garage, I got out and shut the door without a word. _Thanks for the driving lessons_, I thought bitterly. Even when angry, a Cullen was still expected to be polite. Just like we were expected to seclude ourselves from society, never misbehave, and never be unkind or argue with one another. As a Cullen, I was expected to be perfect at all times. It was grating on my nerves. I had to resist the urge to act out against all of their rules and expectations, but I pushed the rebellious thoughts to the back of my mind. Around here, thoughts like that could get you in trouble.

My mom looked up from her novel as I stomped into the living room, still fuming. "How did the driving lessons go?" she asked tentatively.

"Great! Just great! Fan-freakin'-tastic!" I said sarcastically as I blew past Jake and Emmett watching TV on the couch on my way to the kitchen.

"I hope you weren't too hard on her," I heard my mom say to my dad as I rummaged through the fridge. Ugh. None of Esme's meals sounded appetizing. I usually ate according to my mood. When I was calm and relaxed, I didn't mind eating human food. But, when I was pissed off or frustrated, I wanted to hunt. To give in to my instincts.

"What?" I snapped when I heard footsteps behind me. I looked up from the fridge just in time to see Jake's shocked and slightly cautious face.

"Umm, well, I was just wondering if you wanted to get out of here for a while. Go for a hunt?" he asked tentatively.

I took a deep breath to steady my emotions. I checked my grip on the refrigerator handle to make sure I wasn't crushing it. I swung the door shut, turned around, and looked Jake in the eye. "Sure. Going on a hunt would be great." It took a lot of effort to keep the sarcasm and acid out of my voice. Even though I was angry and frustrated with Jake too, it was a lot harder to be mad at him.

I stalked out the front door without looking at my parents, and Jake walked behind me. I could picture him exactly without having to turn around to look at him. He would have his hands in his pockets wearing his "you're making a fool of yourself but I'm not going to say anything because I'm having too much fun watching the show smirk." Finally I couldn't take his sluggish pace any longer. I whipped around in a blur. "Are you coming or not?" I asked irritably.

His smirk turned into a full-blown grin. "Yes your highness. Are you in too much of a hurry to wait for me while I phase?"

"Hurry up," I snapped. I was in no mood for his jokes. As soon as I saw him walk out of the woods on all fours, I took off at a run, knowing full well that he'd catch up to me in a matter of seconds.

…

I didn't say a word to him until we had both finished off our kills and were sitting at our spot on the riverbank. Actually, I didn't say anything then either until he broke the silence.

"So how did the driving lessons go?" he asked tentatively.

"The driving lessons were fine. I'm a perfect driver. I can even parallel-park," I snapped.

"Well then what's your deal?" he snapped back. "I thought you were more mature than this."

Normally his harsh words would have made my eyes fill with tears, but I was so mad that they just made me lash out. "What's my _deal_?" I asked incredulously. "Not 'what's wrong Ness?' or 'what can I do to make it better, Ness?' No. Nothing kind or considerate. Nothing a best friend would say. Certainly nothing a boyfriend would say. You are such a jackass." He flinched as if I slapped him. I hardly ever swore, especially not at him. I ignored the hurt on his face and got up to leave.

He scrambled to his feet and caught my arm before I could run away. "Ness, please. Talk to me. Let me in."

It frustrated me to no end how he was so quick to forgive, to make up. I really just wanted to scream and yell and get out all of my anger and frustrations, but he just wanted to make me happy, to make me feel better. It was beyond irritating.

"You know what? How 'bout you let me in. Let me in on the huge secret that everyone knows about but me. And the worst part is that everyone _knows _that I know that you're keeping something from me, but you all refuse to tell me what it is. I'm not a child!" I yelled. Jake stood silently, biting his lip. His face was flushed, and he looked upset. He reached out to me, but I jerked away from him. "Don't!" I screeched at him. "Don't you get how frustrated I am? Do you not understand how maddening it is to wrack your brain for hours, to toss and turn every night imagining the worst? Do you have any idea how much this hurts?"

Jake sank to the ground and buried his head in his hands. "I'm sorry," he whispered, his voice breaking on the last syllable. Just like that, when I heard his voice betray his pain, my anger completely disappeared, snuffed out like a candle.

I sank to my knees beside him. "No Jake. Look at me," I commanded, tugging at his arm to see his face. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said those things. Please…" I trailed off, struck silent by the sight of his eyes, red with tears that were threatening to spill over.

"I do understand," he whispered. "And I'm sorry to upset you. You have no idea how much it kills me to hurt you like this, to not tell you everything right now." He saw my face fall. "It's killing me, but I can't. At least not until your parents and I sit down and talk. This concerns them as much as it does me and you." He put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me closer to him. "I promise though, we'll tell you as soon as possible. If they won't, then I will," he said, resolve hardening his tone.

I looked up at him and smiled. "I'm sorry for screaming at you. And for calling you a jackass," I added.

He grinned my favorite smile. "You're forgiven." As he said it, he brushed a strand of hair behind my ear. He left his hand there, leaned down, and pressed his lips to mine.


	10. Chapter 10

**Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I know it has been forever since I last updated, and I make no guarantees about when the next update will be. If you are a loyal reader, thanks for sticking with me! If you are new, welcome! Please review and tell me what you think! On a side note, I saw BD2 and loved it! It was truly phenomenal.**

Jake and I walked slowly back, hand in hand, in comfortable silence. "Tell me what's going through your head right now," he asked, breaking the silence after several minutes.

"Well, I was wondering about the big secret and how long it will be before you break the news-whatever it is- to me. But, just now I was thinking about us."

"Us?" he questioned.

"Yeah…" I trailed off, hesitating. I decided after a moment or two that if I wanted him to be honest with me, I needed to be honest with him. "It's just…a lot…you know? I mean, two days ago we were best friends, and now we're something more?" I questioned tentatively. His eyebrows furrowed, and I recognized his deep in thought expression. Instead of trying to explain through words, I used my gift. I showed him memories of the two of us laughing and hanging out, just being best friends. Then, I showed him more recent memories. I showed him how my heart would stop whenever he smiled at me and how I dreamed of pressing my lips to his. Finally, I replayed our first kiss, letting him see how excited I was but also how confused I was. He was smiling now, gazing at me with the look of wonder he got whenever he experienced my gift. "I guess I don't know how to be more than best friends. I mean, you were always like a brother, you know? And now you're something more… It's not like I have any experience with how normal relationships work, not that we're a normal relationship in any sense of the word." I rolled my eyes and blushed, embarrassed by all that I was confessing. As I general rule, I was a pretty private person. Or at least, I tried to be.

"Believe me," he grinned. "I feel exactly the same way. I have no idea what I'm doing any more than you do. We'll just take it slow and see what happens. And we'll always be best friends, no matter what." He paused now and blushed. "And never be afraid to tell me if things…you know…" he stammered, rubbing his free hand across the back of his neck "…go too far…or whatever."

I kind of wanted to say that maybe I _wanted _things to go too far, but I didn't think the second day of our relationship was the time to make that sort of statement. Instead, I just nodded. "Really," he added, "I want you to lead. I don't want you to feel pressured to do anything you don't want to do." I smiled to myself. He really was the nicest guy ever.

I leaned up on my tiptoes and kissed his surprised face. "How's that for leading?" I asked playfully.

"Yes," he said, kissing me back. "That's exactly what I had in mind.

…

Jake stopped when we got close to our cottage. He took a deep breath. "I need to talk with your parents to try to convince them that you are ready to know the truth. Try to understand that we're keeping this from you because we wanted you to grow up without the…pressure…of knowing the truth. This will all make more sense when we explain." I just nodded and tried not to get too frustrated. "It would be much easier for me to convince your parents that you're ready if I didn't have to worry about you overhearing our conversation. I need to be uncensored with them. Is it too much to ask for you to hang out here until we're done?" He looked at me, eyes pleading for understanding.

I gave him what he was looking for and sighed. "Yeah Jake. Not a problem. Just come and get me when you're done." I smiled to let him know that I wasn't mad at him for shutting me out of the conversation.

"Thanks Ness. You're the best." He gave me a quick peck on the cheek and started jogging towards the main house. "I'll come and get you as soon as we're done," he called behind him.

I sighed and turned to let myself into the cottage. I inhaled, allowing myself to be contented with the smell of home. Our little cottage always smelled slightly of wood smoke from the fire that crackled in the tiny hearth year round. It also smelled like fresh linen and honey with hints of cedar. I wandered through the rooms, enjoying the quiet and solitude. It had been awhile since I had truly been alone.

I found _Pride and Prejudice _where I had left it beside my bed. I wandered back into the living room and curled up in my favorite chair. I tried to read but found myself nodding off. My late night and early morning were catching up to me. I pulled a blanket over me, marked my page, and drifted off to sleep.

I awoke with a start, panicked and disoriented. I surveyed the cottage quickly, looking for the dangers that stalked me in my subconscious. I shook my head, trying to clear it. I flew out of the chair in panic as I heard someone opening the door. I didn't relax from my defensive position until Jake had his hands on my shoulders.

"Ness? Are you okay? What's the matter?" His questions grew more urgent as he surveyed the room, searching for my imagined danger.

I exhaled and blinked with sudden clarity. My heart was still pounding with fear, but I playfully shoved Jake. "Sheesh. You scared the shit out of me." I laughed shakily.

Jake saw through my false bravado and pulled me into his arms. "I thought the dreams were getting better?" he questioned.

Jake was the only person in the universe who knew about the extent of my nightmares. He was the only one who knew how often the Volturi came for me in my subconscious. My parents knew that I had nightmares occasionally, but as I grew older I got better at hiding them. Unless my dreams were particularly awful, my dad usually didn't notice them in my thoughts, during or after. I had gotten to be really good at pretending they never happened, and I tried not to think of them around my dad. If they knew how paralyzed with fear I was, especially at night, they would worry nonstop.

"I thought they were. I haven't had one for a couple of weeks." He pulled me into his chest, resting his chin on the top of my head. I fought back against the memory of the line of black advancing forward to murder my family. "They'll never hurt you," Jake whispered fiercely as he kissed the top of my head. He took a step back so he could see my face. "Are you sure you're okay?" he asked, concern evident on his face.

I took a deep breath and laughed shakily. "I'm sure. Better now that you're here," I added.

"Good," he said with a soft smile. "Happy to be of service." He leaned down to kiss me as I wrapped my arms around his neck, entwining my fingers in his jet black hair. He deepened the kiss and my body responded before I even realized that, in the two days since our relationship began, we had yet to kiss like this. My mouth opened of its own volition, and I pulled myself closer to him. My stomach dropped, and my legs turned to jelly. If he hadn't been holding me up, I probably would have ended up on the floor.

We broke the kiss, flushed and gasping for air. "That…that was…" I seemed to have lost my ability to speak. Jake's signature cocky grin spread across his face as he watched me struggle to speak coherently. "I think we should do that more often," I said with a grin.

He laughed. "I completely agree." He took a step back as I tried to kiss him again. He chuckled at the disappointed look on my face. "However, I was supposed to come and get you to bring you to the big house."

My eyes widened with clarity. I had forgotten why I was hanging out here in the first place. "Did you talk to them? What did they say?"

"They agreed, eventually, that it's time for you to know everything."

He shut the door to the cottage behind us as he led me outside. I blinked in the soft glow of twilight shining through the trees from the west. "Woah. How long was I asleep?" I asked as we walked through the woods.

"Well, I left to go talk to your parents around two. It's about seven now."

"Seven? Wow. I slept all afternoon." I could feel the nervous energy rolling off him as we got close to the big house. His anxiety was making me nervous. Could whatever they had to tell me really be that bad?

He led me through the front door and into the dining room where my parents were waiting. Seeing their apprehensive faces made me start to sweat, figuratively. Jake pulled my chair out for me and then sat in the chair next to mine, angling his body towards me to better look me in the eye.

Jake took a deep breath and closed his eyes, trying to figure out what to say or pray for help. Maybe both, I surmised. When his eyes opened, he looked to my parents and they nodded to reassure him.

"Ness," he began, "I know how upset you are that we have been keeping secrets from you. Please know that we never planned to hurt you. In fact, we only wanted to protect you. Can I ask just one favor before we explain everything?" I nodded, so he continued. "Please, just hear us out. That's all I ask."

"Of course, Jake. I promise." I looked at my parents, but they just looked at Jake with apprehensive eyes.

"Okay. Good." Jake exhaled in a huff. "Ness, do you remember the very first day you met your mom? I mean, not the day you were born, but when she was a vampire?"

I closed my eyes and searched my memories. "Yes," I said, opening my eyes. "I remember."

"Can you walk us through that day, as you remember it?" my mom asked.

"Umm, I can try. Let's see… When I woke up that morning, everyone was downstairs with, except for Dad. He was still upstairs because you were still asleep." I paused, and my dad gave my mom's hand a squeeze. "Alice went upstairs to talk to Dad about how long it would be until you woke up, and then Dad called everyone to see you. I wanted to go, but Jake said I had to stay downstairs. He said I could see you later. I remember seeing you leave and go into the woods. I got upset because you left without saying goodbye, but Rose came downstairs and told me that you would be back soon. I tried on different outfits for Rose and Alice, and then Alice said that you both were on your way back."

"Right," Jake answered. My parents both nodded, urging me to continue. I felt like I was in a Freudian therapy session, but I continued.

"Okay. So then Jake got up and went to leave. You told me that you had to go talk to my mom and dad, and that you would be right back. Emmett laughed and told you good luck when you left. You went outside, talking to Mom and Dad, and then you came inside and stood by me. Mom and Dad walked in together only Emmett and Jasper kept Mom from me. I finally got fed up with everyone trying to keep me and Mom apart, and then you finally held me," I said, smiling at my mom. She smiled back, but I could still see the tension in her face.

I didn't understand where this was going. Why was that day so important? "Keep going," my dad prodded.

I rolled my eyes but continued. "Okay…so then Jake said something, and Mom got really mad and hauled him outside. We all went out to watch, and I was scared that Mom and Jake were going to hurt each other. Mom was yelling at Jake, and then she got even madder when he called me Nessie. She lunged at him, and Seth jumped in the way, and Mom broke his collarbone."

My mom cringed at the memory and looked at Jake apologetically. "Do I need to keep going?" I asked.

"No," my dad answered.

"Do you remember why your mom got mad at me in the first place?" Jake asked, his voice thick with tension.

"Well, I remember her holding me, and then you wanted to hold me, and then she got really pissed..er, sorry. She got really mad?" I made the statement into a question, not knowing if that's what they were looking for.

"Close," my dad said. "Dig deeper. I know you know this."

"Why can't you just tell me? This guessing thing is getting old."

My mom just shook her head. "It wouldn't make sense to you. You're almost there. Do you remember the exact words I said to Jacob when I got mad at him?"

I tried to concentrate on the conversation stored in my memory." Okay, so Jake said that Mom was doing great, but not to push it. Mom got mad and asked Jake what his problem was." I searched my mind, trying to determine what they were looking for. "Dad and Rose were mad too, but not as mad as Mom. More irritated, I would say. Then, Mom realized something…she gasped and said something like 'you didn't' as she walked towards Jake. I remember being really worried…"

"Keep going. You're almost there," my mom encouraged.

"Okay…so then Jake told you that it wasn't something he could control…" I quickly ran through the rest of the conversation until my mind screeched to a halt over something that my mom had said that day, something that I had always wondered about but was never given an answer. "And Mom asked him…she asked him how he dared imprint on her baby…" I looked at my parents and Jake, disbelief on my face. "You've been keeping this secret for my entire life, haven't you? The secret, it's about imprinting, isn't it?"

"Yes. It's about imprinting. And yes, we've kept this from you since the day you were born." Jake looked like he wanted to reach out and take my hand, but I ignored him.

"Why? What is it? And why was Mom so upset?" I questioned, growing more irate by the second.

"Relax, Ness. That's why we're sitting here. We've decided it's time to answer all of these questions," Jake said. "Okay," he continued. "So you know that we, that is, the wolves, are the natural enemy of vampires, right?" I nodded, and he pressed on. "Plus, on top of that I was in love with your mom when she was in love with your dad, so that made me hate vampires even more. When your parents got married, I knew your mom had decided to become a vampire herself. When I heard that your mom was sick, I came here to see for myself if she had been changed. To my surprise, she was still human, but she was pregnant." I nodded again, bored and frustrated. I had heard this before. I had heard how the wolves made the decision to kill me and how Jake split from the main pack and formed his own pack. "Well anyway, after I split off from the pack, I came here, and, even though I wanted to, I couldn't leave. I thought, at the time, it was because I still loved your mom, but now I know it was something more." Now I was confused. Jake had always said he had a crush on my mom when she first moved here. I had no idea that he loved her that much, for that long. It was really horrifying to think about, actually.

"Keep listening," my dad interrupted. "It's not like that. Do you think Jacob would still be here if it was? Do you honestly think I would let him still be here? Don't start making judgments until you hear the entire story," my dad admonished.

Jake bit his lip, but he continued with his story. "Your birth was very violent. I thought your mom had died, and I went outside to mourn. I was so blinded by pain that I transferred that pain into hate. I truly believed that you were the reason that your mom, my best friend in the world, was dead. I hated you so much that I came inside to kill you." I cringed as Jake studied my reactions. "But," he cautioned, both hands held up apologetically, "when I came inside, I looked into your eyes for the first time. My whole world, my entire life changed at that exact moment. Do you remember?"

"Yes," I whispered. "I remember."

"Do you remember when we talked about how it was difficult for me to be a wolf in the beginning? And you asked me when it stopped being difficult? And you asked me when I stopped loving your mom? I lied when I told you that both those things stopped right around the time you were born. Both of those things stopped at that exact moment when I looked into your eyes for the first time. Both of those things stopped in that moment because I imprinted on you, Renesmee. You became my whole world, and suddenly being a wolf meant that I could stay with you forever. Suddenly, everything made sense."

"It doesn't make sense to me. I don't understand what imprinting is at all."

"Don't worry; I'll explain." Jake took a deep breath and cracked his neck to relieve the tension. "Imprinting is something that has happened to most of the wolves. When you imprint on someone," he paused, struggling with how to phrase something, "you find your soul mate." He paused, now, to gage my reaction.

My mouth fell open as I struggled to come to grips with what he just told me. Does this mean that I am Jake's soulmate? But I was just a baby. I tried not to be judgmental, but I was kind of horrified.

"It's not like that, Renesmee. Again, Jacob would not still be here if it was," my dad reminded me.

Jake shot him a grateful glance before he continued. "When I imprinted on you, it was like seeing the sun for the first time. You became the most important thing in my world. You became my best friend, my other half."

"But I was just a baby…" I tried to keep the disgust from my voice.

"Believe me, I know. There is a difference between imprinting and falling in love, Ness, at least for us. Most of the time, you imprint on an adult. Then you can be in a romantic relationship with them. It has only happened differently twice. Me and Quil."

"Wait, what? Quil has imprinted? On who?"

"Claire is Quil's imprint." He let that sink in, and he continued. "And you are mine. We imprinted on our imprints when they were children. We couldn't love them romantically; it was physically impossible for us. We loved you like parents, brothers, and friends. Anything you needed us to be. That's an imprinter's main job- to be everything your imprint needs. I have loved you since the day you were born, but it wasn't until you were ready for me to love you romantically, until you needed me to love you that I began to have feelings for you."

I sat in silence, trying to process everything he was telling me. "Who else…?" I questioned.

"Sam and Emily, Jared and Kim, Embry and Jill, Paul and Rachel…"

"So what does this mean for us?" I questioned.

"Well, ideally it means that we are literally destined to be together forever. We were literally made for each other. Soulmates. But," Jake cautioned, "I would never force you to love me. The imprint doesn't force us to love each other. I will always love you, but if you didn't feel the same you could love whoever you wanted."

"That's why we never told you," my mom interrupted. "If you and Jake fell in love, we wanted it to be natural, not aided by magic. We wanted you to grow up as normal as possible, without the pressure of knowing that you were best friends with your soulmate.

"No," I said.

Jake let out a gust of air like he'd been punched in the stomach. "What?" he asked, pain evident in his voice.

"No, not that kind of no Let me finish." Relief flooded Jake's face, but I continued. Suddenly, everything made sense. This aspect of my life that I could never define was clear. "I don't think it works that way. I have never been able to be away from Jake for long. It literally hurts to be away from him. There has always been this connection between us that I never really understood. That's the power of the imprint, isn't it? We are destined to be together. Soulmates. Two halves of the same whole. Forever."


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey everyone. Thanks to everyone who reviewed/followed/favorited/added Heat to your story alerts. You guys are great! Here is the next chapter. There is a lot of dialogue in this chapter, so not a lot of time passes in the story. Thanks! Please review!**

I breathed in through my nose and out through my mouth, trying to stay calm. My head was spinning. Ten minutes ago I was just a girl, well figuratively, dating her first boyfriend. Now, I was someone's soul mate. Jake and I were going to be together. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. We were going to be together forever. I felt lightheaded as I got closer and closer to hyperventilating. I put my head in my hands to try to stop the room from spinning. "Shit."

Jake grabbed one of my hands and scooted closer to me. "I know, Ness. I know. I'm sorry. We shouldn't have told you. Don't worry. This doesn't change anything." He kept trying to reassure me that everything would be okay; that my life wasn't spinning out of control.

I shook my head. "No. I'm glad you told me," I said. And he was wrong. This changed everything. I just wasn't sure yet if it was for better or for worse. "I think," I said weakly, "that I should go to bed. I'm exhausted." My parents and Jake both got up to follow me, but I raised a hand to stop them. "I think…I think I just need some time by myself. To think," I added. Jake's face fell and my parents looked worried. "But," I said, holding my hand out for Jake, "you can walk me over to the front door."

He jumped up and grabbed my hand, escorting me around the corner to the front door. "Are you okay?" he asked, looking concerned.

"Yeah. It's just…a lot, you know?" He nodded, and we both looked around awkwardly. "Well," I asked, "aren't you going to kiss me goodnight?" I smiled shakily.

Jake lifting me off the ground in an ecstatic, bone-crushing hug. "It feels so good to have you know," he whispered. He set me back on the ground and kissed me softly. "Good night."

"Good night," I replied as I walked out the front door.

As the door closed behind me, I thought I heard him whisper "I love you."

…

I walked slowly back to the cottage, trying to sort through the craziness that was my life. On the one hand, everything finally made sense. All of the knowing looks, the whispers…I understood them all now. I finally could make sense of this need I had to have Jake near me. On the other hand, I could feel my world closing in on me. This was what I was trying to hide from my dad before I left. My chest felt tight, and it was hard to breathe. I felt panicked as I thought about what it would mean to be imprinted to Jake. Marriage, living together, sex, kids… I wasn't ready for any of it. And not only was I not ready to make those decisions, realistically, they were already made for me. All I had to do was give the okay, and my life would continue on as planned. Everyone says you have to write your own story, but mine had already been written for me. The realization that I had no control over my own life was terrifying.

I walked into the cottage and sank to the floor. I leaned against the couch as I stared into the flames of the fire in the hearth, contemplating my own destiny. I wanted to be angry at someone or something, but there was no one to be angry with. I couldn't blame Jake. He was just as trapped as I was, and it was obvious that he loved me. He would do anything for me. My parents were the same way. I didn't blame them for keeping this from me; not anymore. I understand why they kept this from me. They only had my best interests in mind. I don't know though, if it would have been better to know from the beginning or to go all these years having dreams and plans and then have them ripped out from under you.

The more I thought about it, though, the more I realized that this was what all my dreams and plans were about. Even when I was little, Jake was the one I got married to when I played make-believe. More recently when I thought about my future, Jake was always part of it. It's always been Jake. No one else could love me and be a part of my world. We really were supposed to be together. The thought made me smile, just a teeny bit.

Just as I reached that realization, my parents walked in the door. My mom rushed over to where I was sitting on the floor and pulled me to my feet and into her arms.

"Mom, I'm fine. Really."

She looked into my eyes and asked "are you sure?" When I nodded, she glanced to my dad for confirmation. He nodded, and she pulled me into her arms again. When she released me from her grasp, my dad pulled me into his arms and kissed the top of my head.

He whispered "I love you" into my hair, and I smiled into his shoulder.

"Do you want to talk about it some more? Do you have any other questions?" my mom asked.

I laughed lightly. "Only about a million, but I think I'm in a good place. I think I am really just going to go to bed."

My dad stood behind my mom and wrapped his arms around her, and she leaned into him. "Alright," she said. "We love you."

"Love you too," I told both of them as I went to my room. I showered and got ready for bed. I crawled under the blankets and turned off the light on my nightstand. Before I knew it, I drifted off to sleep.

…

When my alarm went off the next morning, I was confused and disoriented. I had slept like a rock. When I woke up, it took me a couple of minutes to realize that it was Monday. I groaned when I realized that Jake had class, and I had my own lessons today.

I dragged myself out of bed and stumbled to my closet. I put on an Alice-approved outfit before I went into the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth. After I put my hair up into a sock bun, I heard my parents talking in the living room.

Assuming it was safe, I left my room and saw my parents sitting on the couch. "Good morning," I said to them. "What were you discussing?"

"Carlisle called early this morning." My dad held up a hand as he heard the question in my head. "We'll talk about it with everybody at the big house."

I shrugged. "Okay; sounds good." I followed my parents out the door and to the big house.

When we got to the big house, Rose and Emmett were lounging in the living room. Emmett was sitting in front of Rose on the couch, playing a video game.

"Call of Duty?" I asked.

He shook his head, concentrating. "Assassin's Creed."

I nodded. I would have to play later. I hadn't played the newest version yet.

"Emmett," my dad said, exasperated. My dad had no patience for video games. "Can you pause that or something so we can talk? Carlisle called this morning…"

Emmett sighed and put the game down. "What did he say?" he asked.

"Well," my dad began, "he mostly called to say that they would be out of touch for a couple of days, if not longer. They found Zafrina, Senna, and Kachiri and are going with them into the jungle to search for Nahuel and Hulien."

"Do they have any leads?" Rose asked.

"No," my dad said, frustrated. "Nahuel and Hulien seem to have vanished without a trace. Right now Carlisle and everyone else are going to look for other jungle nomads to see if anyone has seen or come into contact with Nahuel. Right now, Alice sees a couple promising encounters. She can see them speaking with some nomads they haven't met before, but their responses are unclear. She's hoping that means they will have something to say about Nahuel."

Emmett looked unconcerned, unlike Rose who came to stand beside me. "What does this mean for Nessie?" she asked, grasping my hand. I looked at my dad because, deep down, I was wondering the same thing.

"We won't know until we find out why Nahuel is missing. My fear is that he's not just missing. My fear is that he's been taken- or worse."

Everyone turned to look at me, and I could see the apprehension and fear in their eyes. "And if they- whoever they are- went after Nahuel, we can assume, sooner or later, that they will be coming after me," I said, trying to be matter-of-fact.

"It's not going to come to that," my mom said protectively. "We won't let them." She looked out the window with her fierce, gold eyes.

"Well it doesn't do us any good to worry until we get some definitive answers." I looked at my mom meaningfully, and she relaxed.

"You're right. Do you want some breakfast?"

I nodded. "Yeah, but I'll just have a bagel." Bread products weren't usually my favorite, but I had a weakness for cinnamon-raisin bagels.

I meandered back into the dining room where my parents were siting. "So who do I have lessons with today?" I asked. Mondays were usually my day with Carlisle.

"Well," my mom said, "we've decided to suspend lessons for today. We want to basically revamp your curriculum."

"You've excelled at all of your core subjects," my dad interrupted, "and we feel, as you do, that school has become pointless and tedious for you."

"So, we want to talk to you about subjects that particularly interest you, but we want to start by discussing your plans."

"Plans?" I asked. I was excited for this change of pace, but I had no idea what my plans were for today, let alone for my life.

"Renesmee, biologically you are almost an adult. You are in a serious relationship, and in the real world you would be ready to graduate high school. Have you thought about what you want to do, what you want to accomplish as an adult?" my dad asked.

I pursed my lips and thought about what he was asking. "Honestly, no. I never really realized that I had options."

"You always have options. As much as we would love to have you be our little girl forever, that's not realistic. Someday, if not today, you are going to want something more," my mom said.

I thought about what she was saying. My parents were right, as usual. I had begun to get bored with my existence.

"Let's start with an easy question first," my mom said, preparing herself to take notes on a pad of paper she had on the table in front of her. "What would you like to learn more about? What are you interested in?"

"Umm… well, I really like history. Jasper's lessons are always really interesting because he's been through so much. Even beyond his history, though, I find it fascinating. I would love to go on trips to visit museums and stuff more."

My mom nodded while she was writing, so I continued. "I am so over these math lessons. I have mastered everything that could possibly be useful, and now we're doing stuff that I will never ever use again."

"You just wait!" Emmett yelled from the living room. "One of these days you are going to thank me for teaching you about derivatives."

Dad and I both rolled our eyes at the same time, and we both grinned. "You two are so alike," my mom said, smiling.

"So anyway," I said, continuing, "I also think, while I enjoy music, art, and literature, those are things I can pursue on my own without really having set lessons for." My parents both nodded, so I continued. "I think Grandpa's lessons are always really interesting, but I'm not really interested in medicine in general. I think it's only interesting to me because Grandpa is the one that teaches it."

"Aside from history," my dad said, his brow furrowed, "what else are you interested it? In terms of life in general?"

"Well, I really love the outdoors. I love to read, I love movies, and I love music. I think the tribe is fascinating… I don't know, I guess. Is it bad that I don't really have a true hobby or anything? I mean, Dad has music, Carlisle has medicine, Jasper has history, Esme has architecture, Alice has fashion…" I trailed off. "What about you, Emmett, and Rose?" I asked my mom.

"My hobbies are your father and you," my mom said sheepishly. "And as for Emmett and Rose, they both love to travel, but I think it is safe to say that they are each other's hobbies." My dad chuckled as I wrinkled my nose in mild disgust.

"Well I don't know, I guess. I interested in a lot of stuff, but nothing truly captivates me."

"I think that's our fault. We been teaching you what we thought you needed to know, but part of every individual's education is taking electives. We have deprived you of that chance. What are your thoughts on studying things like economics, psychology, physics…?"

I pondered his question for a minute or two before I answered. "Those all sound good. What about a foreign language?" I asked.

My dad's eyes brightened with excitement. "What language would you like to learn?" he asked. "I know Spanish, French, German, Italian, Latin, Portuguese, Swahili, Arabic, Chinese, Japanese…"

I interrupted him before he could get too carried away. "Whoa Dad. Chill out. Let's just start with one. How about Spanish? That seems fairly mainstream."

He fairly buzzed with excitement. "Well most of us would be able to teach you Spanish, but I've studied it the most. It makes sense for me to be the one to teach you. I could probably find workbooks and listening activities on the internet…Carmen and Eleazar would help I'm sure…"

"Edward," my mom interrupted him and shot him a meaningful look.

He looked properly chagrined and apologized to Mom, for what, I had no idea. "Renesmee," he began, "we wanted to ask you a question. Do you want us to teach you?"

I stared at him, confused. "Who else would teach me?" I questioned.

"What he means is," my mom clarified, "have you given any thought to attending a normal school? High school or possibly taking college courses?"

I sat dumbfounded. "What?" I asked. My mom started to ask again, but I shook my head. "No, I heard you. I just…I just never thought…"

"It would be complicated, but possible," my dad replied. "We have to fake transcripts and other documents, but those are the least of our worries. Renesmee, you have never been around that many humans before. That amount of human blood undiluted by vampires or werewolves…well it would be extremely challenging for you, to say the least. Plus, you would not be able to attend school in Forks. You look too much like your mother and me."

I swallowed back my thirst. "I mean, I want to, but I don't know if I'm ready for that."

My parents both looked relieved. "Honestly," my mom said, "I'm glad you feel that way. I don't know if we're ready you to be that idependent. For right now, why don't we teach you some electives here? I don't think we need to follow your old schedule. I think an hour or two per day would suffice."

"I think, I mean, someday, I would like to go to college. I have no idea what I would major in or anything, and I'm not ready yet, but, you know, someday."

My mom smiled softly and grasped my hand across the table. "I feel the same way. Maybe we can go together, someday."

I looked at the door, wondering when I could go play the Xbox with Emmett. "Go on," my dad said.

I yelled a quick "thanks!" over my shoulder as I went to join Emmett in the living room.


End file.
